After Eve and Joe finished telling private jokes about Doc, they retold the story about the minister claiming sex was just for procreation. Joe was in the audience and had a better view of both men than Eve, who was at the speakers table with Doc. The look on the minister's face as Doc backed him into an untenable position was something to see, but the look on Doc's face was something else. You would have thought he had just saved the Titanic from sinking. Joe couldn't help himself, he burst out laughing. Doc's facial expression and his body language were so out of character that it was humorous to Joe. Obviously the rest of the audience couldn't understand the humor that Joe could and they turned toward him with disdain. Eve knew when Joe began to laugh that the source was Doc and not the minister, she turned immediately to Doc and had to use every ounce of strength to keep from laughing also. Now they both laughed.
    There were humorous events through out Doc's life, like everyone else, but they were few in number and most occurred during his school years. The rest of Doc's childhood was pretty sad. They turned to stories about Doc's school days.
    One day his regular teacher was absent and a substitute didn't follow the regular teacher's instructions. He told the class to read the section on the constitution of the United States. As he walked around the classroom, he noticed Doc was reading a different book. He went up to Doc, "Why aren't you reading the textbook?" The other students knew Doc was receiving special consideration and they turned to see what would happen.
    "I read it once and I don't need to read it again."
    "OK, wise guy, recite the constitution of the United States."
    "Do you want the preamble, too?" The substitute was losing his temper, but he restrained himself and said calmly, "Yes."
    "And you will not interrupt me and will let me finish?"
    "Yes," this time with anger as he walked back to the teacher's desk.
    Everyone in the room followed in the book as Doc spoke. He spoke rapidly and without error. When he was halfway through the substitute stopped him, but the students said almost in unison, "You said you would let him finish." He had no choice, but to let Doc finish. When he did the class let out a cheer and went out of control.
    Lunch hour saved the substitute from further embarrassment. After lunch the substitute walked up and down the classroom trying to regain control and repeated his first mistake, he challenged Doc, "I'll bet that is all you can recite." He no sooner had the words out of his mouth and the room was silent.
    "Would you like the Lincoln - Douglas debate?" The class said, "No, that's to boring." The substitute opened his mouth, but Doc began the ballads, 'The Shooting of Dan McGrew and the Cremation of Sam McGee'. At the end of each the students let out a roar.
    Doc was now in charge of the class and the substitute knew it. He walked back to the teacher's desk and listened and before Doc finished the first ballad, he was enjoying the performance as well. When Doc finished the second ballad, he suggested, "Let's sing songs the rest of the day." The substitute had a fine voice and led them in many songs, they joined with enthusiasm. With each song the volume increased, so much so the principle was outside the classroom door when the students came pouring out. He stopped one of them, "What was going on in there?"
    "The best day I have ever had in school," and the student ran down the hall.
    After Doc had settled into the warehouse he changed his routine. The warehouse was on one side of the slums and where he sold papers was on the other side and where he went to school was even further away, he changed schools. It was in the middle of the slums. He didn't use his real name, that was one reason his brother and sister couldn't find him, although they didn't think of the obvious way to find him.
    Doc didn't learn much at school, he already knew more than the teachers, but Doc liked school, if for no other reason than it gave him access to another library. Many times Doc said, "You can always learn something from anyone, anywhere, anytime if you want to, the student has to want to learn, a teacher cannot teach, a teacher facilitates learning. You can lead a horse to a book, but you can't make him read."
    Doc talked with each of his teachers before the beginning of the school year and got them to agree not to ask him questions in class and not to tell or display any of his work or his grades and he would not correct their errors in front of the class or disrupt the class by displaying his abilities. Every teacher agreed after only one meeting. If he needed to he displayed his skills to the teacher, but most of the time the teachers had talked to one another and they were more than willing to ignore Doc while he was in their classroom.
    Not only that, they were glad to have Doc in their classroom. If a student was goofing off or talking when they shouldn't, Doc gave the student, 'the evil eye', as some students would say and order returned to the classroom. After two weeks the attitude of a classroom changed the instant Doc walked in. The teachers thought it was funny, they told stories to one another and laughed about how different the students behaved when Doc walked into their rooms. Sometimes a teacher had to turn to the blackboard to prevent the students from seeing the look on their face.
    Doc sat in the back of the room and said very little. He was friendly to his classmates, but he didn't try to make friends. He was like the man who was not there. The other students eventually learned he was the smartest kid in school, his name was always at the top of the honor roll.
    When Doc first came to this school there were many fights. Doc didn't like fights, he avoided them and he stopped others from fighting. The others learned very quickly not to mess with him, some always have to learn the hard way. Also, they learned not to threaten Doc because he would call their bluff right then and there, he never waited until later. Doc told them, "Stop or you will get hurt," and if they didn't, they did.
    Fights with Doc ended quickly, with the other person disabled, even if they had a knife or a club or if there was more than one. When Doc fought, he fought to win, he didn't fight for the fun of it like some men do and he never gave an opponent a second chance. One mistake and it was over and his opponent had more than a bruise to remind him of his mistake.
    Some boys were picking on a smaller boy in the shower by pointing at him and laughing. They were making fun of his small penis. Doc brought them up short, "If you dunces knew anything about female anatomy you would know the size of your penis does not matter unless it is too short to deposit sperm in her vagina.
    Besides, you dummies, have you not noticed your own penis and scrotum shrink when you are cold and elongate when you are hot. Your body is conserving or eliminating heat and at the same time protecting your sperm from to much heat." Doc finished his shower in silence much to the consternation of the others and the gratitude of the small boy.
    By actions such as this, Doc gathered a very loyal following of those he had protected, he considered them to be his friends. If you were his friend you automatically received his protection if he thought you needed it. This pattern continued through out Doc's life. These people would do anything for Doc, anything.
    They knew Doc would risk his life against all odds to protect them and they reciprocated. They learned to listen carefully and to ignore his venom when Doc was on the attack because when Doc was mad his brain was working at its best. Problems he was unable to solve during more peaceful moments for some reason he could solve in an instant during those outbursts of anger. Unfortunately, the bitterness of his words and the violence of the attack created many enemies.
    A few days later Doc was sitting with a group of boys in the gym bleachers waiting for the class period to end. It was a habit for them to sit and talk after taking their showers. Usually, Doc didn't pay attention to what they said, but one sentence caught his attention, "You have to talk girls into having sex." It agitated him so much he had to say something. "The trouble with you guys is you're all virgins and you don't know what you're talking about. You are just repeating a bunch of junk you have heard from others."
    Doc stood and walked down the bleachers, as he did so it crossed his mind what was going on. This was how men gained information from other men, men rarely asked direct questions of one another. They joshed and bantered around until the information they wanted came out. As Doc reached the floor one of the boys broke with tradition, "So tell us, Doc."
    Doc turned back toward them, "When women want sex they want it more than you do, but it is also the time they are most likely to become pregnant. Women want sex, they want a baby, but not with out a husband. A husband may not do much, but a woman needs all the help she can get to raise a child. She wants someone who will stay with her. How would you feel if after the baby was born, she came up to you and dumped it in your lap and walked away. What would you do? Think about it, what would you do? So stop trying to have sex before you're married."
    Doc walked away before they could respond. Doc sat in a different place in the bleachers each day thereafter and sure enough that is where the other boys sat. Now, Doc was certain, the other boys made outlandish remarks on purpose. They were deliberately trying to get Doc to tell them about sex. They wanted to know what he knew that they didn't.
    This and other similar events convinced Doc that our schools were not teaching students what they wanted to know at the time they were willing to learn. Doc realized that our Puritan-Victorian Judeo-Christian heritage had a lot to do with the situation. Doc would rant and rave for hours over the shear stupidity of that heritage. So much guilt, so much misinformation and a perverted life style. Especially the knowledge and attitudes towards sex.
    Where he wondered, did men ever get the idea that sex was their right. Surely, the wise men of the ages had observed the sexual pattern of all animals including man. Yet, Doc couldn't find one reference in all the books he read that put the male sex role in its true position. It was obvious to Doc, why not to everyone, he couldn't understand it.
    Doc was completely intolerant of ignorance, even his own, he detested ignorance. Yet, he was very tolerant of ignorance in his people, he continually tried to teach them, but he was completely intolerant of ignorance in anyone else.
    He would say every now and then, "I can understand that people cannot understand what I cannot understand, and I can understand that people can understand what I can't understand, but I can't understand why people can't understand what I understand, it's to simple."
    Between what Doc had read and his own observations on the farm and of his women friends and of the women he had helped, Doc came to the conclusion that the male sex role was to deliver sperm to the female when SHE wanted it.
    He couldn't understand why every man with half an once of brains had not come to the same conclusion. Where in hell did men ever get the idea that sex was their right and that they could demand it. Sex was a man's responsibility, not a right.
    Most men will not do what a women does not want, so instinctively they do treat sex as a responsibility, why Doc wondered, can't men transfer that instinctive knowledge to their rationale.
    Doc was well aware of the male problem. In all other species there was some kind of cue to tell them when their females wanted their services and they would respect the females wishes when they no longer needed their services. Without a cue, men have only two options, first, to wait for a woman to ask for sex in some manner, which most women are abhorrent to do as a conscious act, or second, to test women in some manner to see if they were ready. Because females are cyclic and because men have no cue, the male must be ready all the time or at least be ready on very short notice. Our species would not have survived if this was not the case.
    Doc thoroughly understood the male frustration of being ready for sex all the time and being stimulated by every move a woman makes, any women when a man is young, but still a man must respect a woman's needs and rights. A man wants sex when he wants it, why can't a woman have sex when she wants it.
    Thank God women are willing to have sex more than once a month, what a bunch of frustrated men we would be if that were not the case.
    The thing that puzzled Doc the most about sex was the fact that women raise men, women teach men, and women live with men, why don't they teach men some where along the line the needs of a women. He was aware of the socialization effects on women and the effects of our stupid heritage on both men and women, but still he couldn't understand why women didn't teach men about women. He knew that men and women do not communicate very well and that men didn't listen to women very well, but still through the ages the message should've been delivered. He just couldn't understand it.
    Another thing Doc couldn't understand, was how little women knew about men. A man was the most important thing in a woman's life and yet she knew nothing about this creature. After all these years, why hadn't at least one woman understood and passed it on to her daughters.
    From his own observations and conversations with both sexes, Doc was positive that men knew more about women than women knew about men. In almost all interactions with men, women were responding instinctively, very few women were consciously aware of what they were doing and why they were doing it. Where as men, in at least some situations, were very much aware of what they were doing. They were not relying on instinct alone, they were using all of their resources, mainly in their attempt to get sex from women.
    When long term interactions are considered the roles were reversed, men didn't even know the name of the game. Women knew they wanted a husband and a family and they spent hours thinking and planning for it. Men seldom thought about a wife and family until they were much older. They rarely thought about a woman as a potential wife, they thought about her as a sex partner.
    When Doc was an under grad, the university sponsored a panel discussion on 'The Monkey Trial Revisited'. Several speakers from each side of the topic were invited to speak and afterward the audience was invited to ask questions or to contribute to the discussion. Doc thought most of what was said was inane.
    When one speaker said, "We are not the descendants of monkeys," he had to correct that statement, he stood, "The theory of evolution does not say we descended from monkeys, our analysis using the theory indicates that monkeys and humans have a common ancestor.
    If anyone has any doubts, take a close look at me." Doc raised one arm as if he were holding on to a branch and scratched his ribs with his other hand, the students laughed.
    "I've read Darwin's works and the works of others on the subject and the theory of evolution does not violate anything said in the Bible. The theory just explains what happened between the time God spit in the dust and the time Adam was created. The speakers for the creation side responded with various quotes from the Bible and one said, "Evolution could not have happened in four thousand years."
    Doc responded instantly, "The four thousand years is a stupid number, calculated by a stupid jerk, based on stupid assumptions about statements written long ago that can not be verified."
    One of the speakers said, "How can you doubt the word of God."
    "Who's God yours or mine?"
    "There's only one God, the God of the Bible."
    "Which Bible?"
    "There is only one Bible." Doc proceeded to name some of the others and was interrupted by another speaker. "I have studied the Bible all my life, there is only one version, the King James version."
    "By using the word version you are admitting there is more than one and if there is more than one version then there is more than one God or else none of the versions are true or one of them is true and the rest are false. If the latter is the case, then how do we know which one is true?"
    Another speaker changed the subject. "Have you ever read the Bible?"
    "I have read all the versions I mentioned, once," and the students in the audience roared with laughter for ten minutes before the discussion could continue. The other people didn't understand why the students laughed, but they soon found out. As each speaker quoted from the Bible in an attempt to support their position by drawing conclusions from the quote. Doc quoted the verses on each side of their quote and pointed out that the conclusion could only be true if they were willing to use the quote out of context or he quoted a contradicting set of verses. The speakers thumbed through their Bibles to check what Doc said.
    It was obvious to many people and to the moderator that some of the speakers were beginning to show signs of shell shock or battle fatigue as two later generations would have described it. There was no way they could keep up with Doc and with each foray the students became more boisterous.
    Finally, the moderator stood, "We have run out of time. I would like to thank, etc., etc." The students let out another roar, drowning out the rest of his words and only stopped because after a while everyone began to leave.
    Two people attacked Doc verbally, the students surrounding Doc slowly departed, not wanting to be present when their attack turned physical. Suddenly, his attackers left, Doc looked around and saw one of the speakers for the creation side approaching.
    "I apologize for those members of my congregation. I've failed to teach them and they have failed to learn to forgive anyone who disagrees with them in the quest for the truth. I hope I'm successful before they injure someone because if they do, the hounds of their hell will chase them forever.
    Your comments disturbed me greatly and I cannot accept your conclusions, but I will pray for you. You will need God's protection on your journey for the truth."
    "Thank you."
    The minister left Doc standing in an empty auditorium thinking, "That's an odd comment about the hounds of their hell," but some years later, Doc would come to a similar conclusion.
    One sunny afternoon a group of young men were sitting around a tree watching the coeds walk by. Another young man walked up to the group with a dejected look on his face. Someone asked, "What's wrong."
    "My girlfriend, the stupid broad she went and got pregnant."
    "That's a very stupid statement and you are supposed to be an educated person. I suppose you didn't have anything to do with it. She swam in the ocean. Why did you call her stupid, you're the one who is stupid and your statement proves it. Women are supposed to get pregnant, that's their biological role. Good grief, you jerk."
    He swung at Doc. Doc caught his fist and squeezed, the pain brought him to his knees and Doc let go. "Are you not man enough to be responsible for your actions?" The young man was to ashamed to stay, he got up and ran away.
    Doc was thoroughly convinced that women were smarter than ninety per cent of the men. He thought men and women thought differently because their brains were different. There were many differences between the sexes, they had different capabilities, different strengths, different perspectives, different roles, why not different brains. The most striking difference besides the different physical characteristics, was sexual arousal. Men responded much more strongly to visual stimuli and women to verbal and body heat.
    The day after the students were given a tour to introduce the students to the hospital, their professor was showing them a routine case. As they walked down the hall to visit another routine case, a young woman was wheeled passed them into the elevator. As they passed the nurse said to the Professor, "We have an emergency delivery and no one else is available."
    "Prep her and I'll be there as soon as I can find some one to take these students. The professor didn't notice that Doc was not with them as he continued down the hall, he was in the elevator. The nurses didn't think anything about it until he followed them into the delivery room.
    "You're not supposed to be here, you'd better leave." When he didn't, one left to get someone to make him leave. Doc asked questions of the other nurse like he had delivered babies all his life. The nurse, stunned, followed his orders. Doc placed his hands on the young woman's abdomen to feel the position of the baby. As he did, the young woman changed from frighten to one who felt like she was in good hands. The nurse was very much aware of the change and she gained confidence in this imprudent young man. Doc timed her contractions and checked her dilation. As he did she delivered. Doc talked her through the delivery like a professional.
    His professor walked in as he was cleaning up. In a stern voice, "Young man, go to my office right now and wait for me." Doc did and while he waited he read everything in view. Doc had not had this professor for any previous class and neither knew the other. The professor told him in no uncertain terms he was not to do that, ever again. His voice changed from stern to one of amazement, "Where did you learn how to deliver a baby, the nurse told me, 'As far as I could tell he followed all the proper procedures'."
    "I read your book six years ago and have been delivering babies ever since, in the neighborhood."
    The professor turned and pulled a book from the shelf and before he could speak, Doc told him the page number, the name of the chapter and began to quote it. It was a long chapter, but he didn't stop Doc. The professor was stunned, like everyone else who had seen Doc display his memory of written material, but he didn't let it show. He was gifted himself and he had taught many gifted students, but none like Doc. "Tell me, how did you know she was going to deliver very soon?"
    "I timed her contractions when I first saw her in the hall and again in the elevator."
    "By the way, I checked mother and child and they are both doing well. I filled out all the necessary papers and as far as the records go, I delivered the child. But, tell me another thing, the young mother said she felt a strange sensation when you placed your hands on her. Can you explain that?"
    "Maybe it was my confidence coming through."
    "When did you deliver your first child?"
    "I assisted when I was fifteen in the back seat of a cab."
    "Why did you use the word assisted?"
    "Well the women do all the work, we just help unless something goes wrong then we go to work."
    "What are you planning to do with your degree?"
    "I would like to be a GP with emphasis on OB. I enjoy working with women." The professor looked at Doc's hands. "You certainly have the hands for it. Why don't you take the exams and graduate?"
    "There is always something to learn and it's a pleasure to work in a well equipped environment."
    "You know I will have to make a complete report to the Dean don't you?" Doc nodded. "You can go now." As Doc walked to the door, "Do the people in the neighborhood call you Doc?"
    "Yes."
    Doc could see a gleam in his eye and could feel a bond forming between them. The professor had seen some of Doc's work. He made a full report to the dean as soon as Doc left. The Dean was impressed and disturbed at the same time. He was very impressed with Doc's memory after the professor told him Doc not only quoted the whole chapter verbatim, he also indicated the errors and typos and the changes made in subsequent editions. He was disturbed by Doc's total disregard for regulations and by the young woman's comment about the strange sensations, something the Dean would hear about again.
    "What do we have here?" he asked the professor.
    "I don't know, but I would like to be his advisor."
    "I will make the necessary changes, but you keep him under control."
    "I don't think that's possible."
    By the end of the first month everyone knew Doc. Many had seen Doc's work and some of the hospital staff lived in the neighborhood. They knew him or knew of him. When Doc broke the rules, someone would cover for him. Officially, Doc didn't get into any more trouble.
    The following spring, a train derailed and the hospital couldn't handle all the patients. The professor told his students, "This is an emergency, you will have to help." When they arrived at the receiving room, one glance told Doc the ambulance drivers and the rescue workers were sending the wrong people to the hospital.
    The two men looked at each other, both knew what the other was thinking. Doc grabbed two of his fellow students by the arm and dragged them into an ambulance before it returned. Doc didn't have to say anything, by the time they reached the accident they realized why they were going. There was no point in sending dead people to the hospital or those with minor injuries, they could wait.
    It was a long day and when they finished at the scene of the accident, they rode back to the hospital and helped with the minor injuries. That incident strengthen the bond between him and his advisor. Doc knew what had to be done and did it. His advisor liked that trait in anyone.
    During a lecture on female sexuality, based on Freud, Doc had had enough and got up and started to walk out. The professor stopped in mid sentence, "Where do you think you are going?"
    "I've had enough, I don't understand why the medical profession has adopted Freud without questioning what he claims. It's even less understandable because work being done right here refutes what Freud claims. Freud is a quack. Freud's conclusions are a synopsis of the Greek tragedies and his work is a tragedy. It will be a century before we recover from his influence.
    On human sexuality, he must have come to his conclusions by examining cadavers in a dark room while wearing mittens." The students snickered.
    "What makes you an authority."
    "When we are ignorant, everyone is an authority."
    The lecture hall was silent, dead silent. "No person, no organization, no document has any more authority than we give them.
    Because current research and Freud's own data does not support his conclusions, I choose not to give Freud any authority and anyone who does, I consider them to be a fool."
    "Is your nick name Doc."
    "Yes."
    "Class dismissed."
    It took Doc's advisor two weeks to placate the professor.
    The medical profession's attitude toward death was another topic that gave Doc problems. It seem to Doc that the medical profession viewed death as an enemy. One that could be conquered and when we lost, we always lost, everyone was so dejected.
    If a doctor was not personally involved with the patient and if he didn't make any mistakes, why should death have such an impact on the doctor. Was it the ego? He had seen doctors have depression when their patients died.
    To Doc death was an event, a necessary event. Without death, evolution could not proceed. Without death, evolution could only dilute the current population. With death, evolution could change the current population in few generations. We can prolong life, but we can't prevent death. In some cases we should welcome death.
    Doc agreed that a doctor should prolong life when possible, but he felt even more strongly that a doctor should prevent pain and suffering. If he could not then he should invite death. These views were antipodal to the medical community and Doc never espoused them except in very special company. Still, when Doc witnessed this conflict, it disturbed him.
    Sometime later, the students witnessed a protracted delivery. The woman was in hard labor for more than eight hours. Before she delivered she became hysterical. The professor reviewed the case to make sure they recognized the problem and knew what to do if they had to deal with such a case.
    After the professor left the students continued to discuss the case. Slowly the discussion turned to sarcasm, to derogatory. Doc had had enough, "You sissies wouldn't have lasted half an hour, give her credit for lasting as long as she did."
    "Why are you so defensive about women."
    "Women have an extra burden and nature has given them more capacity to handle the burden. If the burden becomes to much to bear there is no reason for anyone to ridicule. What does your ego gain by belittling someone else. Nothing. In my opinion you lose by doing so. Besides, men are supposed to protect women and as far as I'm concerned that means verbally as well as physically."
    Doc got up and left. The others sat and stared at one another, then one by one they got up and left, in silence.
 

Return to Doc Table of Content
 

    After school Doc went to a leper colony for a year and a half. Life was very routine, except for four significant conclusions. A reason for pain was the first conclusion. Doc had difficulty excepting the reasons given by other people, he wasn't satisfied with any of them.
    The first thing that struck Doc, at the colony, was the complete disrespect lepers had for any disfigured part of their body. When nerves die, a person can't fee bumps and bruises or scrapes and cuts in that part of the body. If a part looked ugly, the lepers destroyed it. The worse it looked, the more they tore at it, making it look worse and a vicious circle was formed. They continued until they reached live nerves and stopped because of pain. Without pain, a person cannot distinguish self from non self. With pain there is respect for the self. Doc wondered if the same analogy applied to social interactions as well. He didn't know how far it would apply, but there seemed to be some correlation, he did not pursue this line of thought.
    After observing the lepers for a year, Doc came to a second conclusion. We create our own hell here on earth, if not physically, in our mind. Doc reviewed people he knew and it was clear to him that this was the case, some people did both.
    The third conclusion flowed naturally from the second. Satan did not exist, except in our minds. Eve questioned Doc on this point, "How would anyone know if it was true?" Doc replied half jokingly, "When I die you will know. If I have a smile on my face and if I am at peace, you will know that even I was forgiven and that what I have told you is true."
    "Do I have to wait for you to die to find out?"
    "Some questions can only be answered by faith, for me, only at death will I know."
    If satan did exist and if he had all the power Doc's childhood church community said he had, people would not stand a chance. So logically, from Doc's point of view, satan could not exist. Doc though satan was the weakest part of Christianity. Now Doc reinterpreted the verse, "Get behind me satan," to mean, that was the end of satan.
    One more shackle of his inherited religion was removed. Now people had to take responsibility for their actions, they could no longer use the excuse, 'The devil made me do it'.
    God was speaking to us, Doc thought, in the verse, 'seek the truth and the truth will set you free'. Doc was free of another shackle and he was glad.
    A natural extension of the third conclusion was that all abstract words, such as, beauty, justice, love, truth, even God exist only in our minds. Doc was not prepared to go that far, but the thought made him cautious about his own view of the world and his interpretation of it.
    The fourth conclusion was that we were all slaves, slaves to our biology, our instincts, and our environment. We are bound to our biology like the moon to the earth and the earth to the sun. Our orbits differ only by the changes caused by evolution.
    We are bound to our history by an invisible tether, we are what our parents were. A good back ground in history at least allows us to know what errors we have made and what we are fighting against.
    We are incarcerated by our instincts, prisoners of our passions. We are deluded by our rationality, thinking we can be free. Only by satisfying our instincts is the prison enlarged. We may delay or avoid our instincts, but we must obey or forever be frustrated.
    Our passions own us instead of the other way around. We are bound by the maintenance and protection we provide them more tightly than anything else except our instincts. We follow erroneous paths trying to find happiness, some fools seek thrills, other fun, when the only course is to enjoy the satisfaction of preserving and perpetuating our species.
    Herein lies the only justification for capital punishment, it guaranties faulty instincts will no longer be passed to the next generation.
    Who among us can teach another person a lesson or can dole out the appropriate justice. Our current system of justice is only publicly acceptable retaliation. Every society gets the behavior it condones, boys will be boys, isn't that cute, I was drunk, I was mad, etc. That child doesn't listen to a thing I say, you're right, but he acts just like you. Children ape everything their parents do, is it any wonder why we have the problems we have, our children have such wonderful examples. You can lead a horse, but you can't make him obey the rules.
    We can't escape our environment, we take it with us everywhere we go or recreate it. We can change it, it is the area of our greatest freedom, especially the environment of our minds. We can change our thoughts and our actions. With care we can change anything that we have created. We must be careful, we may not get the change we expected.
    Our habits do not imprison us, we are a bunch of weak willed wimps, we cling tenaciously to our habits to keep them from escaping. The flesh is strong, it's the mind that's weak.
    Another shackle fell to the floor. The fourth conclusion brought another chapter in Doc's life to a close and he rarely used his mind on abstract thoughts again, instead he turned to practical matters.
    When the United States declared war on Japan, Doc left the colony to enlist. The staff and patients didn't want Doc to leave, but they had to let him go, to do other wise would be unpatriotic. This allowed Doc to leave the colony gracefully, he had had enough and didn't want to stay. They asked him to come back after the war, "Thank you, I consider it an honor to be asked to return." Doc continued to correspond with several people in the colony for the rest of his life, but he never returned, not even for a visit.
    On his arrival in the city, he and Joe had a joyous reunion. Joe tried to enlist when the war broke out in Europe, but he was 4F. So was Doc, but the army hired him as a civil servant to perform physicals at the city induction center. The work was routine and very repetitious, but it offered Doc an opportunity to observe a large number of young men, an experience that can be obtained in no other way.
    This new position worked quite well because the induction center was within walking distance of Joe's apartment on the top floor of an old seven story office building with very low occupancy. The building was on the edge of the neighborhood, near the business district, very close to Doc's old school. Joe and Doc settled into a routine as if Doc had never left.
    Within a year Doc rented the other apartment on the seventh floor. It had two more rooms than Joe's. Those extra rooms were his first office. The large room was his waiting room and the smaller, the examination room. Doc didn't need a waiting room, but he had one anyway.
    Slowly, he furnished the office and the apartment. All the furnishings were necessary, most people would describe his apartment as spartan. Just as slowly he acquired patients. Most were working women, they could only come after work. Since that was the only time Doc could conduct his own practice, everyone was satisfied.
    Doc kept his fees low. The word got around about Doc's hours and his practice increased. The number of unwed mothers increased dramatically. The women gave their men something to remember them and the men gave them something to remember them. Venereal disease also increased.
    Doc was assigned several home bound vets to oversee. The government paid most of the expense and Doc paid the rest. Joe asked Doc to take a very special case. A man came in contact with a very toxic chemical being produced for the government. Everyone one concerned wanted as little publicity as possible. They kept the man at the chemical plant. He had no known relatives and his only friends were coworkers.
    Only a few people at the plant knew about the accident and they wouldn't tell anyone. The small plant was already under tight security because it produced many different toxic chemicals and each had to be handled with special equipment. Since Doc was under a government contract and was sworn to secrecy, the parties involved agreed to let Doc handle the case.
    The chemical plant was in the marsh country, surrounded by two large oil refineries. The refinery parking lots were adjacent to one another. They shared a common security check point and a common drive way with each other and the chemical plant. A two track road from the back of the parking lot, twist and turned between the tank farms of the refineries to the chemical plant. It could not be seen from the highway. Only a very observant person would have known the chemical plant was located there, it was very isolated.
    Doc was given a special pass, a government car and driver, and all the release time he wanted from the induction center. He could go anywhere at anytime. The owner of the plant paid all expenses. He converted a small storage shed into a patients room with all the equipment Doc wanted. The man had all the symptoms of rabies. Doc research for antidotes, there were none. He tried everything he knew and nothing worked.
    In desperation, he investigated the accident, hoping to find a clue, he didn't find any. The accident was caused by poorly maintained equipment. If it hadn't been for the war, the owner would have closed the plant and retired, he let the plant run down in anticipation of closing it. He agreed to continue production when the government told him they needed the chemicals and he kept the money the government gave him to modernize the plant.
    Doc walked through the plant with the same hope, that some how it would give him a clue. On one of those walks as he looked through a lab window, a lone workman was standing at a hood deliberately putting a small amount of a chemical on the back of his hand. The chemical was absorbed very quickly leaving no trace and another person could not be contaminated by touching his skin.
    Doc couldn't believe his eyes, "Why would anyone put a toxic chemical on their hand knowing there was no antidote?" Doc waited until he was finished, entered the lab, and asked, "Why?" The man panicked. Doc assured him, "I'm a doctor and anything you say will be in very strict confidence." The old man agreed to tell his story.
    "Many workers had similar accidents over the years. If the accident involved a large amount of chemical, they died very quickly. If the amount was small, the symptoms came after several days. If the symptoms did not appear within seven days nothing happened. If the symptoms appeared they died.
    I had an accident with a small quantity of a chemical. I was so nervous when the symptoms appeared I spilled a small amount of another chemical on my arm and the symptoms went away. When the symptoms reappeared, I put a small amount of the first chemical on the back of my hand. I alternated chemicals each time the symptoms appeared. Two other workers had similar accidents, I told them what to do and they had similar results. We told your patient what to do, but he wouldn't listen." Doc listened in amazement realizing the significance.
    The worker pleaded, for obvious reasons, "Please, Doc, buy the plant and keep it running. I'll give you what little money I have and I'm sure the other two will do the same. The owner will sell and the government will agree since you were allowed to work on this case."
    Doc applied many different amounts and combinations of chemicals, but it was to late, his patient died after twenty horrible days.
    Doc and Joe bought the chemical plant, it was their second acquisition and the beginning of the organization. Doc managed the plant and Joe sold the products. They rented an office on the floor below their apartments to serve as the chemical plant management and sales office. The previous owner operated out of the trunk of his car.
    By the end of the war the plant was modernized and out of debt. Many disabled vets couldn't do physical work, but could manage or sell. They hired as many as possible and soon they were free of the daily operations and had a small cadre of loyal employees.
    Doc's attention returned to medicine, he decided to start his own clinic. His practice had grown and there was a need for low cost medical care, the economy was in recession. Profits from their organization were used to buy the office building in which they lived and worked and later to buy the two other little used buildings in their block.
    One was a manufacturing building, the other a warehouse. The office building and the warehouse were on the same side of the block with an alley between them. The manufacturing building was large, it occupied the rest of the block. Another alley separated it from the other two buildings, the two alleys formed a 'T".
    They converted the office building into a clinic with a reception room, a receiving room, and patient examinations rooms on the first floor and a cafeteria in the basement. They moved the medical equipment from the chemical plant to the clinic.
    As money allowed, they put convalescent rooms on the next three floors and sleeping rooms and offices on the other floors. They hired doctors returning from the war and let them stay at the clinic. Turn over was high, the doctors stayed until they could establish their own practice and could afford their own apartments. Doc encouraged them, he helped them become established.
    At first, his practice was mainly unwed mothers, now with the returning vets, it was families. He referred the families to the returning doctors and they referred special cases to Doc, such as heroin addiction. Some vets brought the habit back with them, instead of it being a rare case, it was more common.
    The clinic served three types of patients, indigent, unwed mothers, and addicts, alcohol and heroin. The addicts didn't respond to standard therapy. Doc tried many different approaches, none were very successful, more than two thirds returned to their addiction. One addict was in Doc's treatment program three times. When he returned the fourth time, Doc asked, "Would you be willing to try something very risky."
    "Why not, I'm going to kill myself anyway, it's just a matter of time."
    "Once you start you can never stop."
    "I don't care," but like most people, he didn't realize what never means.
    Doc tried one of the toxic chemicals, by accident he applied the chemical just before the addict would have gone into withdrawal. Doc later learned, the amount of heroin in the body had to be very low, else the administration of either chemical 'A' or 'B' was fatal. Later the chemicals were simply called A and B and the patients were called AB's.
    "Come back in one week, sooner if you don't feel well and don't be late." He came back in one week, "It's great, no withdrawal and I don't crave heroin." Doc applied chemical 'B' and told him to come back in one week. He did with the same results, Doc was elated. He couldn't wait to try the treatment on other intractable addicts. Over the next few years Doc perfected the treatment. He and the addicts learned, this treatment had to be the treatment of last resort. Many an addict died because they would not stick to the regimen.
    One told Doc, "I want another high."
    "Do you crave heroin?"
    "No."
    "It might kill you," it did.
    His buddy came to Doc, "Help me go cold turkey. I was with him when he died. It was so violent and happened so fast, it scared the daylights out of me. I want to quit." Doc helped him.
    Doc kept a small amount of heroin at the clinic, he used heroin in a treatment program designed to wean addicts from the habit by giving them smaller and smaller doses of heroin. It did not work. Several times addicts broke into the clinic and stole his heroin. One addict robbed the clinic, prompting Doc to create his own security service.
    Fortuitously, Doc was treating a referral patient for combat stress. "I'm desperately trying to find something to calm myself down. My former doctor told me you had a chemical that might help."
    "The AB treatment might work, but I would rather try other methods first because of the long term commitment required and its risks."
    The man had served in special services and had participated in many hand to hand combat missions behind enemy lines, he couldn't adjust to civilian life. Doc discussed the security service with him, "If you did this kind of work could you transfer your anxieties to work and away from your home life?" He though for a while, "It might work, the work would be similar and I could use some of my skills." The more he thought about it, the more his mood changed, he even began to smile. "I have two comrades, they are having difficulty, too. Could I ask them to join me?"
    "I think that's a great idea. Pick your own people, they can report to you and you can report to me or Joe."
    His mood change was dramatic, he was in charge, he could use some of his skills, he could choose and train his own people. Five years would pass before he was adjusted enough to marry and have a family.
    Thus was born the Men in Black, an elite security service. They didn't carry weapons, they didn't need them and no one called them boys in black. As their name implies, they were dressed in a dull black, everything, not a shine on any part of them, not even their faces, everything was dull. In shadows they nearly disappeared. Their clothing fit tight, but it was designed to allow complete freedom of movement. In winter, they wore black jackets, gloves, and caps.
    Doc and Joe attended his first training sessions. He was surprised by the capabilities of his two employers and even more surprised when he learned how they acquired them.
    The top floor of the manufacturing building was converted into the security service facilities with all the latest equipment, a complete training area, offices, and living quarters. Within three years they needed three floors. The security service activities expanded quite by accident and became one of the most profitable divisions of the organization. The security service turned out to be everything Doc had envisioned and more. They were hired by other people, companies, and government agencies as body guards, security guards, to protect VIP's and property, and even for special assignments. Doc was delighted with their performance. His first satisfaction came shortly after they were formed.
    After examining a beaten woman, Doc said, "Let me talk to your husband."
    "No. I don't want you to do that, I...."
    "You can't go in there," said a nurse from the hall as her husband burst into the exam room.
    "Get you clothes on we're leaving." He threw and ill timed punch at Doc, but his fist never reached its target.
    "Do you want us to eliminate him?" asked one of the two Men in Black standing on each side of him. Doc smiled with pleasure at their fast response.
    The husband was still belligerent even as pain forced him to his knees. Slowly the meaning of their words sank into his angry brain. He worked on the water front and had heard stories about the Men in Black. He turned from defiant to cringing, from beat red with anger to bloodless white with fear. His eyes were wide as Doc responded, "No, I think he will listen very carefully to what I have to say and I'm quite sure he will do exactly as I tell him.
    Thank you, men. Shut the door as you leave.
    Sit down," he nodded toward a chair. Her husband couldn't move fast enough. "From now on you will be a thoughtful and loving husband and you will take care of your family like a man." He turned to her, "And you will be a good wife and you will help him be a good husband.
    I want to see you in a week. Make an appointment on your way out." Doc left as they clung to one another in an embrace of relief. He instructed his staff, "Let them have as much time as they need to regain their composure."
    As the Men in Black worked with Doc, it became apparent to all that Doc was not practicing medicine to make money. Doc enjoyed the challenge of medicine, he was always learning, and he genuinely wanted to help people. His attitude of enjoying a challenge, of constantly learning, and being genuine, was contagious, it infected any and everyone who knew Doc. This was another reason why his friends over looked his short comings.
    A Man in Black helped Doc patch up a man beaten by loan sharks. After the injured man left, Doc said offhandedly, "There should be some way to eliminate this type of misery." The Man in Black responded as they walked down the hall, "What if we had a bank for poor people?"
    "That's a good idea. Why not?" Doc didn't realize what he had set in motion, but soon he was so pleased with the results even he was encouraging it. The Man in Black talked with others in the service, the talk turned to action, they created a bank. It followed two of Doc's many philosophies.
    First, when Doc treated a patient who claimed they couldn't pay, Doc always checked their story, later he had the service check their story, but Doc often said, 'Always check every message you receive'. If their claim was true, Doc found away to pay for the treatment even if he had to pay for it himself. If the claim was false, the patient paid.
    Second, Doc always listened carefully to everyone. The difference between Doc and other people was his action. He acted very quickly on what he had learned, in medicine, many times, he had to act fast when he learned something, but he did not limit his action to medicine.
    The bank did make money, but most of the time it lost money on its lending operations, not very much, but still a loss. The bank made money by listening carefully to the little people as Doc called them, in the process valuable information was gathered.
    A customer mentioned the cabby, "He wants to start his own cab company." The bank evaluated the possibility, their analysis indicated a new cab company could not pay off a loan. They suggested, "Would you manage a cab company for the organization."
    Surprisingly, the cabby was very successful, the bank had under estimated the growing market. The fringe benefits of the organization were so good, the cabby declined to become the owner when the bank suggested he could.
    Now the organization, not only had the eyes and ears of the little people, it had the eyes and ears of every cab driver in their company. The organization would give away a hundred dollars on Monday to help someone and it received a thousand by Friday. The organization used the extra money to buy or start another business. The expansion was very rapid, the more it grew the faster it grew. Soon, the bank handled all the financial transactions of the organization and oddly, the service became the accounts receivable and accounts payable department for the organization, they collected all debts and paid all debts.
    Years later, the service provided Doc with body guards. Almost everywhere Doc went, five Men in Black went. When he walked down the street, one in front, one in back, one between Doc and the buildings, one between Doc and the street, and one across the street. They used hand signals to communicate with each other. Most people didn't pay attention to them, they seemed to blend into the background. They appeared to have no connection with Doc, except the one next to the curb, sometimes he talked with Doc.
    Doc participated in a television panel discussion on sex education. Doc didn't want to do it, but he couldn't wiggle his way out of it. Obviously, Doc was not in a good mood when the discussion began and it soon became apparent to everyone else.
    The discussion took place on the stage of an old theater. His body guards went with him and disappeared into the crowd. Each speaker was to present their views in five minutes and to ask questions of one another afterwards, followed by questions from the audience.
    Two TV cameras were on the very front of the stage. A series of small tables were placed on the arc of a circle near the back of the stage. The cameras had a front view of all the speakers by rotating, no other motion was necessary. If two speakers were debating, a camera was on each one.
    The moderator was in the middle and introduced the topic and the speakers. Doc was at an end table, he spoke first followed by each of the other speakers around the arc. The last speaker began with a quote from the bible.
    Doc said loud enough for everyone to hear, "More biblical BS." The moderator frowned at Doc and the speaker continued as if nothing had been said. When he finished, Doc didn't wait for the moderator. "It's obvious you have never studied human anatomy or you would never have said, 'In the beginning, we were perfect in every way, physically and mentally'.
    Evolution does not create perfect creatures, only creatures good enough to survive. We were never perfect. We have not fallen from grace, we were never perfect to begin with and we are still improving."
    The starting shot was fired in a two man debate despite the efforts of the moderator and the other speakers. Every time he made a statement, Doc destroyed what he said with increasing venom, until they were shouting at each other, faces red with anger. He pulled a pistol from his brief case and came around the table toward Doc.
    Instantly, Doc's male ego took over, he jumped up and met him halfway, right in front of the cameras. A collective gasp came from the audience and everyone froze except for the camera operators and Doc's body guards.
    TV sets around the nation tuned in, as people called their friends. Those who reacted fast enough, remained glued to their TV screens as this real life drama unfolded. He kept talking and so did Doc. He waved his arms around as he talked, but he kept his distance. People in the direction of the pistol ducked. When Doc made a signal, he noticed the Men in Black, "Who are they?"
    "My men."
    "Call off your dogs." The men moved closer, but Doc signaled and they retreated. Doc walked around him, "Look over my shoulder and you will see, they have moved back."
    Doc walked around him a second time. "Where'd everyone go?"
    When Doc focused his attention in one direction, the Men in Black removed the people, the tables, and chairs from the opposite direction. When the stage was empty except for them and the camera crews, a barely audible sigh of relief came from the audience.
    The police arrived followed by a contingent of photographers. The Men in Black told them, "Stay out of sight, we don't want anything to cause him to shoot before Doc can get his pistol."
    The police agreed, but two photographers learned to listen when the Men in Black spoke. The first went onto the stage with his flash camera, he was grabbed by the neck and removed. He would not be able to take pictures for a week because of the pain in his neck when he turned his head.
    Another followed him and was dealt with even more severely. He was raising his camera, when a sharp blow caused him to collapse like a wet dish cloth. The Man in Black calmly caught his camera when he fell, to keep the noise level as low as possible. The other photographers went scurrying like a bunch of rats. The Men in Black pointed to the orchestra pit and that is where they went.
    Doc continued to walk around him, he slowly closed the gap between them. He slid his right hand up the side of his face as if to wipe away the sweat and at the same time he slowly extended his left hand, keeping his palm toward him. He increased the speed of the left hand while he watched his eyes. His eyes instinctively followed the largest surface area moving the quickest. In that instant, Doc pivoted on his left foot and struck with his right hand.
    The blow nearly broke the man's wrist as the pistol went flying, a Man in Black pounced on it. Doc made a mistake, he thought it was over and relaxed. He grabbed Doc by the throat and bent him backwards. The Men in Black converged, again Doc signaled and they stopped. A very loud scream was heard as Doc grabbed his wrists. This image was fixed in everyone's mind, Doc bent over backwards screaming as he was choked.
    Suddenly he collapsed, Doc let him fall to the floor, dead from a heart attack. As Doc straightened and bent over to check him, another collective sigh came from the audience, quickly followed by a sense of satisfaction on the verge of joy.
    Eve and Joe chuckled as they finished this story. They had told enough stories about Doc, now they could talk about the accident. They pieced together what Joe could remember and what Eve could understand of Doc's incoherent mumbling in the hospital.
 

Return to Doc Table of Content
 

    Doc was happy with his decision to drive the big car back to the city, his chauffeur would follow later in another car. Joe was asleep on the other side of the glass, he had one to many the first thing in the morning. Doc enjoyed the feeling of power as he accelerated up the hills and the feeling of weightlessness as the big car lift from the road as he crest each hill, he coast down the other side, giving a roller coaster effect, to be repeated at the next hill.
    It was a beautiful day, cool light breeze, a clear sky except for a few cream puff clouds, an ideal day to drive. To Doc it was a perfect way to cap off a perfect weekend at the mansion. The only mar was that Eve had stayed in the city. He missed her and thought about her often during the weekend. He would tell her he missed her and thought of her when they met, as he always did.
    These weekends were few and far between with his busy schedule. He enjoyed sitting on the balcony over looking the pool. He liked to watch the guests and employees swimming and sun bathing and at the same time to look over the manicured grounds with beautiful flowers and if he chose to look further and see horses running in the far pasture and cattle beyond.
    The mansion was 'U' shaped with the open end looking south down a valley. The bottom of the 'U' contained the main entrance, a greeting room, and a dinning room on the first floor. The second floor had a large ballroom and his and Joe's apartments were on the third floor. The west side had apartments for guests on the second floor, with the library and offices on the first floor. The assisted was designed for families. Employees could reserve an apartment on the assisted for vacations. All the apartments on the second floor opened to the pool in the center of the 'U'.
    The guests had been very cordial, each had given him a gift to add to his various collections, one a rare book, another a block of stamps, another a painting. Only one had given him money, how vulgar. The staff performed very well and the employees and their families behaved so well the guests didn't realize they were employees.
    Who said you couldn't find good employees. He was very satisfied with his people. They were very loyal and very dependable and everyone tried to do their best. He had given each one a little something extra. Anyone could have good employees if they paid them well, had good benefits, and treated them with respect. Doc couldn't understand it, why didn't every employer have good employees. A good employee was inexpensive, a poor one could cost a bundle.
    "Oh well."
    Doc decided to enjoy the drive and he didn't think about any thing for several miles. But as he rounded a curve and new fields came into view, something about the lay of the land reminded him of his grandparents farm and with it came a flood of memories.
    "Ah, what bitter sweet memories." He could hear his grandmother, "Be a good boy or you will go to that other place." His grandmother never swore, in fact she never said anything bad about anyone or anything, like Thumper, if she couldn't say something good, she didn't say anything at all.
    He could see her, she was shaking her finger at him, "Be a good boy or you will go to that other place." She said this when ever he did something she didn't approve.
    If she could only see him now, how proud she would be, to see how successful he was, how many obstacles he had over come and still had achieved so much. She would have been especially proud that he was a doctor.
    She would not be happy with the wealth he and his best friend, Joe, had acquired, or the organization they had created, to her wealth and power were evil. But she would have admired what they had accomplished with their money and with their organization.
    She would have liked the clinic to help heroin addicts and to provide health care for the indigent and unwed mothers. She would have smiled at the number of committees he served to support the arts and charities. The only thing Doc could think of that would make her sad was that he didn't have any children.
    That thought led to the memory of his first sex, it changed his life. It happened the last summer at his grandparents farm. It was an annual ritual, the second week of summer vacation, off he went to grandparents farm, every summer since he was six. He looked forward to going, he liked the change of pace, the change in environment, and home cooked food. His grandmother was an excellent cook, so was his grandfather. He helped his grandfather with the chores and his grandmother with the vegetable and flower gardens. The neighbor girl, Dawn, helped her almost every day. His grandmother had a special bond with Dawn, Doc never knew for certain what it was.
    One day in June, as they walked back to the house after working in the flower garden all afternoon, Dawn remembered, "My parents will not be back until after supper." Of course, grandmother said, "Stay and have supper with us." After supper the women did the dishes and the men did the evening chores. By the time they finished it was dark.
    When the men returned to the house the women were still talking, they completely forgot the time. Grandmother turned to Doc, "Why don't you walk Dawn home." Doc didn't want to go, after all, Dawn was three years older and she had walked home many times by herself even when she was much younger, but he didn't want to confront his grandmother, so he did.
    The sky was clear, without a moon, so many stars could be seen it was hard to make out the constellations. They had been friends for nine years and conversation came easily. The time passed very quickly and they arrived at Dawn's home in what seemed like an instant even though at least eighty acres separated the two farm houses. He had to go in and say hello to her parents, that hello ended after an hour long conversation. As he said good bye, he realized that Dawn was not downstairs and hollered to her and left.
    Both farm houses were a long way from the road, to save time, Doc decided to walk across the fields. He like to walk through fresh mown hay and he was looking forward to the second field, the first was corn. The light from the windows allowed him to avoid the flower beds.
    To miss one large flower bed, he had to turn toward the back of the house before he could enter the corn field. As he stepped between the corn rows, the light intensity changed. Instinctively he turned his head and froze in his tracks. For some reason Doc couldn't make himself move, he didn't know why.
    Dawn had stepped between one lamp and the window as she removed her blouse. Dawn never wore a bra and Doc never noticed how large she was, she always wore loose fitting clothes that didn't accent her figure. He was erect in an instant, bursting at the buttons on his jeans. His clothes were tight to begin with because like most families he wouldn't get new clothes until school started.
    He stood transfixed, watching her undress. All the farm houses in this area had low ceilings and floor to ceiling windows to let in as much light as possible and no one had shades on their windows, so Doc could see everything but her feet. She turned to go to the door, but stopped and returned to her bed. She put her foot on the bed, turned her knee out, and her leg over to look at something on the underside of her thigh. As she did so, her labia parted, it was to much for Doc's uninitiated sexuality, he ejaculated.
    Dawn left the room, out of Doc's sight. He couldn't move for more than five minutes and then he had to force himself to do it. All the muscles in his body were sore. His neck was stiff and didn't function properly until he reached the hay field. He went straight to the pump, removed his pants and underwear, and rinse them as best he could in the dark. Now he understood the other boys when they said, "Creamed your jeans did ya."
    Doc knew as much about sex as most doctors did, but it was intellectual, now it was personal. Until now, Doc had not had any symptoms of maturing. That night he had a weird erotic dream and spurious erections the next morning, followed by wet dreams every night for the next two weeks.
    Doc peeked in the windows, his grandparents were in the living room listening to the radio. He went in the kitchen door and up the stairs as quickly as he could, hollering, "I'm home."
    "You're late, what took you so long." He replied down the stairs, "We were talking and forgot the time."
    Two weeks later, both grandparents went on an errand and left Dawn and Doc to weed the vegetable garden on a hot afternoon. They went to the pump after two rows. They took turns pumping while the other took a drink and of course teasing one another all the while. As they walked back to the garden the wind picked up and the sky turned dark. Dawn said, "Let's go to the barn before it rains."
    A wise suggestion because it started to rain as they reached the barn. They looked out the door and watched it rain for a while. It rained harder and they both knew they would have to find something to do because it was going to rain the rest of the day. They amused themselves by climbing on the hay wagon and the beams of the barn, but soon became bored and returned to watching the rain through the door.
    Grandfather was a progressive farmer, he had all the modern gadgets, one of which was a hay fork on a rail. The rail ran the full length of the barn just below the roof and out a door high on one end of the barn. Three ropes controlled the hay fork, one tethered the car, one the hay fork, and the last one was the lift rope. It ran through a set of pulleys that raised and lowered the hay fork from the car to the floor.
    Doc decided to ride the hay fork. They experimented with several options until they found the one that was the most fun. They raise the hay fork until it cleared the bottom of the door and tied the lift rope to the fork and wrapped the rest of the rope around the hay fork.
    One of them climbed on to the hay fork and the other pulled the rail car tether rope from one end of the barn to the other. As they became more daring, they ran from one end of the barn toward the door high on the other end and let go of the rope, the one on the hay fork traveled out of the barn until the rail car hit the stop at the end of the rail and swung out in a large arc before their momentum brought them back and caused the rail car to move back into the barn.
    This was great fun for the person riding the hay fork, but very tiring for the person doing the pulling so they traded positions after three trips. They continued until they were exhausted. They went up in the hay loft over the hay wagon to rest.
    The hay was almost level with the door so they piled the hay so they could lie at an angle with their feet on the bottom edge of the door and their heads high enough to look out over the fields through the door. They had to lie close together to get both pairs of feet in the door. They lay with their hands behind their heads watching the rain fall.
    When they were rested, they nudged and tickled one another and in the process Doc's elbow hit Dawn in the head. Jokingly, he said, "Let me kiss it and make it all better." As he did she put her arms around him and that kiss led to another and another. Dawn was responding to the kisses but Doc was not stimulated, he became bored and stopped. He let go of her, put his hands behind his head and watched the rain fall.
    Dawn continued to kiss, to nudge, and to tickle him, but Doc didn't respond. Dawn wanted his attention. She pulled her shirt tails out of her jeans and tied them together in front creating a pocket between her breasts, the shirt and the knot. It also accented her bustling and bared her midriff.
    She returned to tickling Doc even though he wasn't responding, it was a diversion while she took Doc's pocket watch. She put it between her breasts and lay back in the hay. Doc moved to get the watch back until he saw where she put it. He lay back in the hay and ignored her. Realizing the ploy hadn't worked she sat up, removed the watch, spread her legs, and dropped the watch into the hay.
    Now Doc responded, he didn't want the watch to sink into the hay. He sat up and reached for the watch, she closed her legs. When he tried to go under her leg, she spread them, blocking his hand from going underneath. Doc tried several feints in an attempt to reach the watch and didn't pay attention to what Dawn was doing.
    With each feint, Dawn moved her body closer to the watch. When he made his final move she intentionally spread her legs to let him have access to the watch, but when he reached, she closed her legs on his hand.
    Doc finally got the message, Dawn wanted his attention and she was going to get it. He didn't struggle to remove his hand, instead he pushed against her body and felt the softness of her labia, instantly he was aroused.
    When she knew he wasn't going the remove his hand, she spread her legs. Instinctively, he slid his hand up and down her labia and down the inside of her thigh and up the outside and gently squeezed her hip. While she kissed him passionately, Doc picked up his watch and put it in his pocket. He placed his hand on her midriff and slid it across her waist.
    She surprised him by suddenly pushing him away, standing up, and removing her clothes, Doc followed. She spread their clothes on the hay and lay on them. She beckon and Doc lay on top of her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and moved her hips until he entered. Immediately he ejaculated, but kept moving in, and instinctively began a rhythmic thrusting motion. He ejaculated three more times before she relaxed her grip and let him roll off. They dressed, lay in each others arms, watched, and listened to the rain. It was still raining when the dinner bell rang. They broke their embrace and ran to the house. The rest of the day was routine.
    They had sex at least once every day for the rest of the summer and every interlude began the same way. Dawn placed Doc's hand on her bare waist. For all of Doc's intellectual and observational power, he never understood the significance of that gesture.
    Dawn came to the farm everyday, Doc went to her house every night. Once together they went anywhere, one of the barns, the pastures, the fields, the orchard, the woods, taking a horse blanket with them.
    Her parents and his grandparents wondered what was going on because neither talked to the other when someone else was near. They displayed no signs of endearment other than bumping hips or shoulders when they met and laughing. His grandfather was worried, but when he shared his concerns, his wife said, "Leave them alone, they're just friends."
    Sex had a profound affect on Doc, he changed from ignoring women to paying very close attention to all women. He wanted to learn more than he already knew, he listened to women and watched them. He learned how to talk to them and how to help them talk to him. He tried to please or to satisfy women. Doc was not a charismatic person, but he learned to meet and talk with women with great ease and confidence.
    Doc was very disappointed when he researched the libraries, most books were about their medical problems, a few about their psychology, but nothing about women.
    Two weeks after his first sex, the most embarrassing event in Doc's life occurred. It was a very hot day, even his grandfather went to the house for nap. Doc didn't feel like sleeping and Dawn had gone to town with her mother. He decided to go to the pond for a swim.
    He wasn't alone, when he arrived many boys were already in the water. No one wore a swim suit or brought a towel. After they finished swimming they stood on the shore and let the wind dry them. They put on their clothes and sat on logs or the ground and told stories. Eventually the stories turned to sex and each boy bragged about his exploits. Everyone told a story except Doc.
    One said, "What about you, Doc, you haven't said a thing." He didn't want to say anything, but they razzed him until he did. When he said he had, they wanted to know who. Again he didn't want to say anything, but they chanted, "We don't believe you," until he told.
    He no more than said Dawn's name when the others burst into roaring laughter. When they calmed down a little, one said, "Dawn don't count, she laid every man over fifteen in the county, even your grandfather," and they laughed again.
    Doc turned beet red and couldn't think straight for a while. The others went on talking. When Doc's blood pressure and temperature returned to normal, he got the courage to ask, "How would you know about my grandfather?", and the boy told his story.
    I went into your grandparents orchard to check the sweet cherries. I climbed high in the tree and ate a few, but they were still green. As I climbed down I saw your grandfather and Dawn weeding that special patch of his, at the corner of the orchard. I didn't want them to see me so I climbed to the other side of the tree and put as many branches as possible between them and me. I couldn't see them, but I could hear every word.
    From their talk, Dawn was bumping and poking him every chance she got. If he moved to another row to get away from her, she moved to the row next to him. He scolded her several times and told her to behave herself, but she kept at it.
    After weeding the rows, they went back on hands and knees to remove the weeds from between the plants. Dawn continued to bump and poke him, he gave up and stopped scolding her or moving away from her, he ignored her. From what he said, Dawn was rubbing her breast against his arm or shoulder. He got mad, "If you don't stop, you will have to leave."
    "What kind of weed is this?"
    "Dawn button your blouse."
    They repeated such talk many times. He got mad again, "Go to the house." She got up and left, but didn't go to the house, she went under the old apple tree in the corner of the orchard. She unrolled a blanket and took off her clothes and lay on her side facing me. I could see her and I was afraid she would see me so I kept very still and even tried not to breath hard.
    Dam she has a beautiful body.
    She waited for your grandfather to reach the end of the row, then she made a sound. When your grandfather looked at her, she rolled on her back and spread her legs. He stood up and just looked at her, he was going to say something, but she raise up on her elbows, pulled one foot toward her body raising her knee, and slid her leg back down.
    Without a word he unfastened his overhauls and walked toward her. When he reached her feet he dropped them and his drawers and fell on his knees between her legs. She reached up and grabbed him and pulled him on top of her.
    Boy did they go at it. They didn't say a thing, but I never heard so much moaning and groaning my whole life. When they stopped, he rolled on to his back and pulled her on top. He held her, rubbed her back, and kept saying over and over, "You poor little girl."
    When he stopped talking Dawn got up, dressed, and went home crying. He lay there a while longer then he got dressed and wandered around the fields like he was lost. I last saw him under the big tree on the knoll in the pasture and I'd swear he was praying. I climbed down and ran. I was sure glad to get out of the tree without them seeing me.
    The boy sang a song Doc had heard before and the others joined in immediately, "In the shade of the old apple tree that's where she first showed it to me."
    Doc didn't hear the rest of the song because he had jumped up and ran away muttering to himself. He was mad at himself for saying anything and vowed never to tell anyone about his women, ever again. A vow he kept until he helped Eve quit heroin.
    That night he confronted Dawn with the stories, Dawn cried, "Yes, they're true, but please Doc, don't let that come between us, I love you. Those other men meant nothing to me. Please Doc."
    She sobbed. Doc pulled her to him and held her. He didn't tell her he loved her because like most young men he didn't know he loved her, but he did.
    She stopped crying, "I know I will never see you again after this summer. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. Please let me have the rest of the summer with you as if you had never known."
    Dawn's statement was prophetic, he never saw her again after he left the farm in September. When she was calm, she took Doc's hand and placed it underneath her blouse against her bare waist. It was the best sex he would ever have, sex with Eve came close, but somehow it lacked something. He felt a compassion for Dawn he would never feel for another woman. She had been his first woman.
    There was something about Dawn he didn't know and no one was going to tell him. He knew his grandparent's knew and he tried to over hear their conversation especially her's with other women, but she always whispered in such a manner he couldn't understand what she said.
    Doc returned to the present boiling mad. "Damn the prudish views of this country, even the Canadian were more tolerant of sex and they had our same stupid heritage. Every adult does it, when ever they can, it was perfectly normal, in fact you were abnormal if you didn't, but don't you dare talk about it.
    Sheer Stupidity." Doc ranted and raved for the next couple of miles. Doc was not paying attention to his driving, it was a good thing no other cars were on the road. He drove like he was on autopilot. Because the big car was so powerful, he didn't notice the slight increase needed to maintain his speed up a long gradual hill. He crested the hill and began a very sharp decline when the missing piece to Dawn's puzzle hit him like a ton of bricks.
    He had sex with Dawn at least once a day for more than two months. She didn't have a period during that time. He certainly wouldn't have forgotten something like that being so naive. She was desperately trying to find a man who could make her pregnant to prove she was a woman.
    "MY GOD," Doc yelled, "Poor Dawn. She was suffering from....."
    Reality broke into his thoughts, to late, the long gradual hill hid a train crossing the road at the foot of the steep decline. Doc slammed on the brakes and turned the wheel in a frantic effort to avoid a collision. The last thing he remembered was the steering wheel broke from his strength and that last surge of adrenaline. He never felt the impact, it was to fast and forceful.

Return to Doc Table of Content      Continue