When Doc regained consciousness, he found himself in a very familiar setting. The drab walls, the smell of ether and alcohol, the lights, and the bustle of people. He hurt all over. He tried to turn his head, he couldn't. He tried to move his arms and legs, he couldn't. He tried to speak, he couldn't. He stared at the ceiling until he fell asleep. When he woke the nurses were fussing over him. He couldn't see or feel what they were doing, he just hurt. They noticed his eye lids move, "You finally decided to join us. Eh?"
    He couldn't talk so he blinked his eyes as a response. They finished and left. Doc didn't expect anyone to be at the hospital, yet. He was a long way from the city and it would take time to get in touch, but he knew his people would find him, soon. He was not concerned and fell asleep. This pattern continued for what Doc thought was several weeks, but he knew time seemed much longer under these conditions. The wake periods became longer and he could speak a little. A doctor told him about his condition, it wasn't as bad as Doc expected.
    "You have a serious concussion, but you are out of danger now. Your leg is broken and some ribs. You were immobilized and put in traction. You are doing remarkably well considering the force of the impact. Your car was completely destroyed." Doc tried to ask about Joe, but the doctor said, "I'll tell you more when you are better."
    "That's bad news," and fell asleep. He didn't fight sleep, he knew sleep was the best thing he could do for himself. Doc was patient, but each time the doctor returned, he was asleep according to the nurses. They were trying to notify someone, they didn't understand why, but they were having difficulty.
    The next time Doc awoke, a man was standing beside the bed. "Hello, Doc," he said cheerfully. "You don't know me, but I know a lot about you. I'm a recruiter for a world wide organization and we would like you to join us. We are very impressed with your record. We like how you handle your people. We are especially impressed with your ability to recruit and retain people."
    "Anyone can do it."
    "Not the way you can. You can pick your own staff and choose your location and you would have a very generous expense account. You can almost name your own salary plus we have many fringe benefits."
    "Thank you, but I enjoy what I'm doing, I'm not interested in money."
    "Would you mind if I came back each day and gave you a sales pitch?"
    "No, but the answer will be the same." The recruiter came every day and Doc's answer was the same. Doc told his life story, almost the same as Eve and Joe had shared. Many times Doc became incoherent or fell asleep in the middle of a sentence. The recruiter told him, "Eve is on the way. You and Joe are in different rooms because those were the only beds available at the time. It would be unwise to move either right now, Joe isn't doing very well.
    The next time the recruiter came, "I won't give you a sales pitch any longer, I'm between assignments. Would it be OK if I continue to visit you? Your story was fascinating and I would like to have you clarify some points to satisfy my curiosity. I want your side of the story because I have received conflicting reports on some aspects of your life."
    The recruiter marveled at Doc's academic record. "Don't be so impressed. In our school system more than eighty per cent of a grade is based on memory, it doesn't indicate the other important qualities of a good student." The recruiter changed the subject. "Tell me about Doc's disciples."
    "That's an early version of McCarthyism. It was a depreciating name some people used to misdescribe a group of students who were searching for the truth. After the 'Monkey Trial Revisited' some students wanted to know how I arrived at the conclusions I expressed that day. After I told them what they wanted to know we never met again. They were never my disciples." Doc mumbled.
    "When did you break with the religion of your family?"
    "At my grandparents farm I had to go to church every Sunday and prayer meeting every Wednesday night. They read verses every night before bed time. Something happened during one of those events, I don't remember which one, I can only remember I was disturbed and I didn't know why.
    When I was twelve, I read grandfather's Bible, that only increased my disquiet. I had a heated discussion with them, during which, my problem became apparent. My church family kept telling me Jesus was sweet, the Bible was consistent and complete, and God was steadfast. Yet the verses they kept repeating didn't support those conclusions. I confronted them with the contradiction that bothered me the most and the only answer I got was, 'You don't have to go with us anymore'."
    "What a terrible response. What was the contradiction?"
    "How could God kill those who disobeyed and yet give the Israelites the commandment, 'Thou shall not kill'."
    "Pretty good for a twelve year old."
    Doc fell asleep, when he woke he continued as if nothing had happened. "Later, I found more than one version of the Bible, I read as many as I could find. That didn't help, it only added to the inconsistency. I discarded the religion of my family and began a search for a replacement. It was a futile attempt, the more I read and learned the more it became evident, religion is a matter of belief not logic. It could neither be proved nor disproved and religion shouldn't be used for logical purposes, hence the error of many debates, like the Scopes trial.
    I still become agitated when one of three points are brought to mind. First, Jesus is sweet, I never found a verse to support that statement. At best, Jesus was a bitter pill to swallow and at worst, He was a vehemently hated enemy.
    Second, Jesus was a pacifist. Most of my church family held that belief. My grandparents frequently said to me, 'turn the other cheek Doc, turn the other cheek', they completely misunderstood those verses. Everyone concentrates on what Jesus told us to do and no one considers what we are not doing when we follow His advice. When we turn the other cheek, we cannot retaliate. To me that's the most important part of the message. If you don't retaliate, most fights will end. To end a fight, one of the combatants must absorb the last blow. Jesus gives us even better advice, in that, we should make the first blow the last one.
    Third, Jesus was an activist. Only a few of my church family believed Jesus was an activist. But unlike Jesus these modern day activists are attacking sinners. Jesus didn't attack sinners, He ate and drank with them. Jesus attacked the self-righteous.
    He showed how the priests and scribes were too concerned with the letter of the law and ignored the spirit of the law and how the spirit of the law was far more important. Many times, He made His point in an unkind manner. To me, Jesus was more than an activist, He was an antagonist. He forced people to examine their values, to make a decision." Doc fell asleep again.
    Of all his foibles, Doc was aware of only one, indignant self-righteousness. He was very aware, he carried on a constant battle with it and lost most of the time.
    When he woke the recruiter continued. "What about the tabloid report, 'Doc hates Jews'?"
    "What a beaut.
    Talk about writing a story about a statement taken out of context and then not quoting it correctly. That one sure takes the cake.
    I was participating in a panel discussion on sex education when a man from the audience said, 'remember the holocaust'. The statement was so incongruous, I lost my temper and shouted 'I don't want to remember the holocaust, it was to gruesome and I hate the Jews for reminding me of it.'
    The next day a tabloid front page read 'Doc hates Jews'. The following day the others carried the same story. The first tabloid would not print a retraction, but the others did. I don't hate Jews, I don't hate anyone, I hate ignorance. The words 'the' and 'for' were very important to the meaning of my statement.
    I don't want to be reminded of the holocaust and I didn't know what made me so angry, but in that split second during my out burst it came to me, it was stupidity. If we are continually reminded of the holocaust and never reminded of the error, the holocaust will be repeated."
    "What error." Doc mumbled and the recruiter repeated his question and Doc tried again.
    "The error of allness. It's the most common error we make. We limit and simplify to much. When someone speaks, that's All they had to say, when we read something that's all there is, and if a solution is presented, that's all there is and if the solution is accepted,
    'ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ....'
    The German people accepted Hitler's statement that the Jews caused ALL of Germany's problems. His solution was, 'All we have to do is eliminate All the Jew's. Unless people are made aware of the error of allness, the holocaust will be repeated.
    Now, when someone repeats that stupidity, I immediately translate it to 'remember the error of allness' and I can keep my self-righteous indignation under control and I don't get angry. My blood pressure went up when I remembered that incident and caused me to mumble." A glazed look spread over Doc's face. The recruiter waited and then asked, "When did you get your self confidence?"
    "When I was selling newspapers. I had just won my first fight with one of the bigger boys, one who chased me away from any corner I chose. I was feeling pretty good about myself when a punk, who was trying to impress his friends across the street, took one of my papers and refused to pay me. He put his hand on my head and said, 'What are you going to do about it little man?'
    The big ape turned to see if his friends were watching. I ducked under his hand, kicked his knee cap, and moved out of his reach. He started for me, but the pain in his leg stopped him. When he put his hands on his knee, I kicked the other knee cap. He switched one hand to the other knee. I went around behind him and kicked him in the crotch, he fell. When he didn't move, I took his wallet out of his pocket, took a bill from the wallet, made change, and put his wallet back.
    Lucky for me his friends were still on the other side of the street, laughing very hard, I didn't think about what they would do and didn't check until I heard them laugh. Some friends, they didn't even come across the street to help him, they walked away, laughing. The punk groaned and cursed me between his groans, 'I'll get you if it's the last thing I do.' I walked to another corner.
    I've never doubted any of my abilities, since. I made a vow to myself, I would never be controlled by anyone, any organization, or any thing."
    "Didn't anyone pay any attention to what had happened?"
    "No. I even sold some papers before I left that corner, the people just walked around him."
    "Did you ever meet him again?"
    "No."
    Eve walked into the room. The recruiter got up, "I'll talk to you later," and left. Eve took Doc's hand and Doc fell asleep. When he woke the recruiter was sitting next to the bed, "Where's Eve?"
    "You slept a long time, she finally went to get something to eat. Tell me another part of your story until she returns."
    "What part?"
    "How did you get into the construction business?"
    "One of our men was dating the daughter of the owner, he married her later, but that is beside the point. During their courtship, he learned her father was a gambler and owed a lot of money to the mob. He confronted his future father in-law who nervously told him the whole story.
    He liked to play the ponies and he went to the track when ever he could. He won a little money, not enough to make up the money he could have made if he had been working, but enough to keep him gambling.
    A bookie approached him, 'You don't have to go to the track, all you have to do is call me and I'll place your bets for you. If you win you don't have to do a thing. If you lose you will have to pay the loss plus ten per cent. Since you're a winner, you don't have a worry. You can work and still play the ponies.'
    It sounded like a good deal to him so he placed his bets with the bookie. It worked very well the first three months." Doc paused for several minutes. "He won more than half the time.
    Then the bookie suggested bets, they were winners, too. He had a streak of bad luck, the bookies picks were his only winners, but not enough to cover his losses. His losses were small, but he couldn't pick winners.
    The bookie said, 'Just bet my picks and you'll be back in the black in no time'. He did and over the next three months he was a net winner each day and each day the winnings were bigger. The bookie said, 'Increase your bets'. He did and he won even more, so much more he was making more money on the ponies than at his business. He started placing his own bets again as well as the bookies picks and the money kept coming.
    The bookies picks started to lose, 'Bet smaller amounts on my picks until I can pick'm again'. He thought that was good advice so he followed the bookies advice. His bets kept winning and the bookies picks kept loosing, now he had a small net loss each day. He increased the size of his bets. He couldn't explain it, but he still bet the bookies picks. Then his bets began to lose and soon he was loosing on all his bets. Instead of cutting back, he increased the size of all bets in an attempt to recover his loses.
    'That's a good idea, you're so far ahead your luck will surely turn before you lose it all. His luck didn't turn and before long he owed more than his business was worth. He didn't know what to do, he knew the bookie would be asking for his money, soon.
    Our man discussed the situation with the acquisition committee and they came to a solution. If the owner agreed not to gamble any more and would continue to manage the business, the organization would buy his company for the amount of his debt and the accounts payable department would pay the debt. The owner agreed to the terms and signed the papers with a sigh of relief."
    "I suppose that company became very profitable, too."
    "Yes, as the manager, he did all of our remodeling and new construction, he did excellent work. When other people saw his work, he received more and larger jobs."
    "Did everything your organization do turn to gold?"
    "No." Eve returned. "Well, I have to go, but I'll be back."
    As soon as Eve held Doc's hand, he became incoherent. The recruiter only came when Eve was eating or taking a nap. The next time the recruiter came, Doc asked, "How did you learn so much about me? The questions you have asked imply you know a great deal about me."
    "Some of your people work for us. They all recommend you. Very highly, I might add."
    "My own people?"
    "Don't sound so surprised. Your people work for others and report to you. You have people at city hall, in the police department, in every hospital, and many other places, even at the state capitol. Why would you not expect the same?"
    "I guess you're right."
    "As your organization grew, the crime rate in the city fell, was that a coincidence?"
    "Not exactly, our bank took customers away from the loan sharks and because we had an investment in the property that served as collateral, we provided the protection, that eliminated another racket. As long as our people were so active in the neighborhood, it was only natural that we handle all the betting, too.
    Since, only a healthy customer is able to pay back a loan or a bet, we had an interest in the well being of the people. If our people working in the neighborhood found someone was ill or had a mental problem, they were quickly encouraged to visit the clinic so our medical staff and counselors could help before a problem got out of hand." Doc drifted off, the recruiter could barely understand the last sentence and left.
    Eve was with Joe and as they began to tell a story, 'The Recruiter' entered, he politely excused himself. They said, "You know a lot about Doc and it's obvious you want to learn more. You might find this story humorous."
    A wealthy patient complained to Doc, "My husband gets mad after we have sex and yells at me and calls me names. 'You've had sex with another man, yesterday, I can tell'."
    "Hog wash."
    He was a stereotype macho man, he claimed he could make any woman he wanted and he did. "I can tell if a woman is a virgin, they're the best." He bragged about his conquests to anyone who would listen. He especially enjoyed telling his wife, but his wife had better not look at another man.  She did, she was that type of woman, like the one in the old joke about the golfer.
    After a round a golf, playing as a visitor, he showered and didn't pay attention to the locker room he entered. After his shower, he was about to return to the locker room when he heard women's voices. He realized his mistake and knew he had to do something fast. He debated, should he cover his body or his face with his towel. If he covered his face, they wouldn't be able to recognize him. So he gathered his things, covered his face, and left for the men's locker room.
    Each woman in turn, said, "That's not my husband," except for the last woman of the foursome. She said, "He doesn't even belong to this club." That was the type of woman she was, if you belonged to the club and paid attention to her, you could have her.
    "I would like to shut him up."
    "Would you really?"
    "Yes."
    "I remember reading a novel as you told your story, here's my plan." She agreed with enthusiasm, she could hardly wait.
    Doc invited her husband to a weekend at the mansion and had dinner with him when he arrived. Doc barely finished introducing himself when the man began to brag about his conquests. Doc led him on until made the same claim his wife said he made. Doc challenged him, "I'll bet you can't." His ego wouldn't let him back down and Doc didn't give him the opportunity to back down gracefully. Doc egged him on until he said, "I'll bet you ten thousand dollars." He was baited and Doc sprang the trap.
    "You can prove it right now. If you agree, I'll make the arrangements after dinner." He agreed, he had to.
    After dinner Doc made the arrangements and rejoined him for desert. After desert Doc took him upstairs and introduced him to twelve women, from sixteen to thirty six. All were the same size, each was wearing the same long dress and shoes and the same perfume.
    He took him into a bedroom, "Check anything you like, I want you to be completely satisfied with the arrangements. The room is empty and has only one door." He turned off the light, "There's enough light to move around the room from a small red light behind the desk, but not enough to recognize anyone. If you turn on any other light you forfeit the bet. Here is a padded platform to cover her upper body, I don't want you to see or touch her any more than necessary. She can breath easily and you will not be to uncomfortable."
    Doc asked the women to go into an adjacent room and placed a screen on the opposite side of the bedroom door, with a chair behind it. "Sit on the chair. Tell each woman something special, that only you and the woman will know. She will not talk to you." Doc got a woman and took her into the room and came out, "Go to her."
    From the chair, he could see shoes and the hem of a dress, he knew someone went into the room and later someone came out, that was all. When he came out and sat on the chair, Doc went in and got the woman and exchanged her for another. After the third woman, Doc said, "Had enough."
    "Yes."
    "Stay on the chair." Doc removed the screen. "Tell me which one was a virgin, which one was the oldest, and which one had sex yesterday."
    He paused, he knew Doc had set a trap and he knew if he said one was a virgin and she was not, it didn't matter if he answered the other questions correctly or not. He doubted that Doc could get a virgin to participate in the test, but then, Doc was a powerful man.
    "I know what you're thinking and your pause told me you don't know, otherwise you would've answered without hesitating."
    "They were all very good, but they can't all be virgins. I have to admit, I can't answer any of your questions."
    Doc asked the women to come out and go downstairs. "Count them." Doc watched his face, he looked puzzled.
    "I counted twelve, who did I have sex with last?"
    "A better question would be, who did you have sex with all three times?"
    You should've seen the look on his face when his wife walked out. "I didn't know you had that much stamina, honey." She and Doc laughed out of control.
    "You tricked me, you tricked me."
    After Doc brought himself under control, he said between chuckles, "No, I didn't, you tricked yourself by making such stupid statements. You couldn't even tell she had sex five minutes before.
    You see, the sexual satisfaction anyone receives is their own. Your partner can detract from it, but can not add to it. Satisfaction, pleasure, pain, happiness exist only in our brains and nowhere else. It's internal, not external.
    That's why it's just as important for a man to be ready as it is for the woman. If a man wants satisfying sex then he had better make sure his wife is ready, when he is. That's his responsibility, not her's."
    His wife told him the three special things and they laughed again. He joined them when it finally dawned on him how absurd, he had been. They went down stairs for an after dinner drink, arm in arm. He told the story at the bar and joined the laughter. Later when everyone had quieted, "How do you want your bet."
    "You have been so gracious about loosing, you don't owe me a thing, I've never laughed so hard in my life."
    He never bragged and he never accused his wife again.
    At her next check up, she threw her arms around Doc and kissed him, "I can never thank you enough. My love life is so improved, it's like having a honeymoon all over again."
    'The Recruiter' left to check on Doc, chuckling to himself.
    Doc was alert and the recruiter asked, "You mentioned your second acquisition before, but you didn't mention your first, did it have an influence on the crime rate, too."
    "Well, yes."
    "Tell me about it. How did it develop after you first met the girls?"
    "You know about that, too?"
    "Yes, come on, tell me."
    Doc reluctantly told him, "After the pimp died, Joe took over his responsibilities. I kept them clean and educated them as much as possible and Joe taught them how to talk and act. Joe moved the girls into high priced hotels and bars. He took one or two girls into a hotel bar and if any man showed an interest, Joe took him aside and made the arrangements. When he found escorts for each of them he got one or two more. Joe handled all the money, the girls liked that, it was more like a date. The self deception helped them have a better image of themselves and their attitudes improved.
    We provided the girls with protection, that's why Joe was in so many fights. At first, I didn't realize what was happening. After I taught him how to fight, he asked me to help. By the time I was in college, we had a dozen girls, contacts in many bars and hotels, and many regular customers. We eliminated six very mean pimps and cleaned up a small fraction of the city."
    Doc became incoherent and fell asleep. When he woke the recruiter was still there. "Tell me about the second time you saved Joe's life. He told me his version the other day, when he was feeling better. I want to hear your side because he didn't know what you did."
    "I didn't save his life, I prevented his premature death."
    "OK. OK. Tell me the story."
    "Joe asked, 'Keep me company, I have to meet some people at an old warehouse near the water front.' When we approached the warehouse, 'Wait at this end, while I meet them at the other end. I'll only be a few minutes.' He was more than a few minutes. I went in the back way, if everything was OK, I could leave the same way I came without anyone knowing.
    There was just enough light for me to see my way between the crates. As I approached the other end I could hear threatening voices. The end of the aisle was blocked by a large crate set diagonally between the rows, that allowed me to get closer without being seen. I peered between the crates.
    Two men held Joe's arms in a hammer lock while another man beat him. Another man out of my sight asked Joe, 'Are you ready to talk.' Joe wouldn't or couldn't talk.
    'Can I hit him? Can I hit him again, boss?'
    I moved to the left of the crate, the boss was leaning back in a chair with his hands behind his head keeping his face in the shadow cast by the reflector on the only light in the building. I turned sideways, raised my right hand above my head, and inched my way silently between the crates. When I could go no further, I lowered my upper arm. When my forearm cleared the crates, I let my elbow rotate, allowing my fore arm to fall like the strike of a cobra. I squeezed his adam's apple as hard as I could.
    Instinctively he struck out and hit the crate. He lurched forward and tore himself from my grip. When he couldn't breath normally, he panicked. He put his hands to his throat and fell to the floor wrestling with himself. The commotion distracted the others and they slackened their hammer locks.
    Joe freed his arms, grabbed their collars, and let himself fall, two heads crashed together. Before they recovered, Joe disabled the one who was beating him and then dispatched the other two. Joe didn't know where I was until I came running around the other end of the aisle and back to where he was. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door."
    "Was he the first man you killed?"
    "I didn't kill him, he killed himself. He hyperventilated when he panicked, other wise he would've survived."
    "Did you or anyone in your organization ever kill anyone?"
    Doc thought for a while, "Yes, I can recall one incident very well," and told the following story, punctuated by incoherence and falling asleep. The recruiter asked him to repeat until he received the entire story.
    The brother of one of our men was killed in an auto accident. Our man went to visit his widow, Candy, three months after the accident at lunch time. Shortly after he arrived, she received a phone call from a man claiming to be a friend of her husband, "I have to see you, I'm having difficulty with your husbands death, I just have to see you."
    She didn't recognize his name and she thought she knew all of his friends, all had come to the funeral. "No, I don't want to see anyone now, maybe later."
    "I understand, I'll be over in a few minutes that will be later, OK," and he hung up. Puzzled, she walked back to the patio to finish lunch and told her brother in-law.
    "I heard most of the conversation, he will be here within five minutes. I'll stay on the patio out of sight. Here's what I want you to do. Don't worry."
    Candy was upset, but when a six foot four, two hundred plus pound brother in-law says, "Don't worry," there is a tendency to relax.
    The door bell rang and Candy answered it. A frail good looking man about five years older than Candy introduced himself, pushed the door open, and walked in.
    "My, what a large apartment you have you won't mind my staying here a few days, will you. I'm between jobs and I need a place to stay."
    He walked into her bedroom, placed his suitcase on the bed, "Would you take what you need with you, you can sleep on the couch, my back won't take a couch, and I don't like to be disturbed when I'm sleeping, you understand, don't you.
    Of course, you could sleep with me and we'd both be more comfortable."
    Candy couldn't believe the man's audacity, but she did as her brother in-law said, "We'll take care of that later."
    "Well be a good little girl and fix me something to eat.
    I understand you have received your husbands life insurance. I have a wonderful place to invest it, we'll go and get the money out of the bank after we eat and I'll invest it for you."
    As Candy walked to the kitchen, "Why don't you go out on to the patio while I fix something, I'll bring it out."
    "What a splendid idea," and he walked out on to the patio. Then Candy went into the bathroom and locked the door. When the man stepped out on to the patio, he saw her brother in-law sitting to one side, "Candy and I would like to be alone, would you mind leaving?"
    Her brother in-law stood, "I was just leaving."
    He walked to the patio door, but instead of leaving, he closed the door. The con man asked, "What are you doing?"
    "I forgot my manners." He walked back to the table and pulled out a chair, "Take this seat it has an excellent view."
    "Well, thank you very much."
    As the con man began to sit, he slid his left hand into the con man's left arm pit and pulled up and to the right. At the same time he pivoted like he was throwing a right cross. The heel of his right hand hit the con man just above his right ear with all the force he could deliver. The sound was slight as the con man's neck broke.
    He let the body slump into the chair and went to the phone. When he received an answer, "Code black," and gave Candy's address. "You can come out now, Candy, but don't go on to the patio."
    He went to the bedroom and searched the con man's possessions and put them back into his suitcase and put the suitcase next to the door. When a truck came, "Would you go to the bedroom until we finish?"
    "OK. Candy, let's finish our lunch. Everything is OK."
    Doc stopped talking and the recruiter shifted uneasily on his chair, "What a story, but how did you explain his death to the authorities?"
    "People die every day at the clinic. We called the police and the coroners office and filled out the paper work. We put down 'accidental death' with no current address and noted he had thirty thousand dollars in his suit case. We kept the body and turned his possessions over to the police. They found a log book with all of his victims and even potential victims, so at least one woman got some of her money back."
    "That's enough for now. I'll see you later."

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    A steady stream of people came to visit the second week of waiting and hoping. Eve spent more time with Joe. She held Doc's hand for five minutes, visited Joe for awhile, and returned to Doc. The initial shock was wearing off and being in the hospital reminded her of a story. She mentioned it to Joe, Doc had told him the story, too and they told it to each other. 'The Recruiter' stepped in to say 'hi'.
    "Has he said anything to you?"
    "He hears me, but doesn't recognize me and he ignores me, he talks to the ceiling."
    "Now that you are here, stay and hear another story."
    Joe and Eve agreed, it was ironic, funny in a way, and displayed the contrary nature of Doc. Contrary because Doc preached every chance he could about not having sex outside of wedlock and not having unwanted children, but according to Joe Doc held the worlds record for both.

    The dean of the nursing school met with the dean of the medical school to discuss a very serious problem. After the formalities, she said, "You have to do something about that man."
    "Who?"
    "You know who."
    "Why?"
    "We had a class of fourteen student nurses, now we have seven."
    "Why?"
    "They're pregnant and all made the same request, to leave school at the end of the semester. They wouldn't name the father, they didn't have to, after they told their story, I knew who the father was. They didn't want to marry him and didn't hold him responsible.
    You know we keep the students apart during training. A student nurse dared another to get a medical student to kiss her. She lured one with a false message, she didn't succeed, but the next time she did. Then it became a bet she couldn't do it again. She did, but let him stroke her arm as well as kiss her. She said, 'I felt very calm and peaceful, I wanted him.' She couldn't remember what happened next, but she knows she asked him to have her, she pleaded with him, she even said, 'Please.' She met him in the dirty linen room, after school, in the halls, anywhere.
    She challenged the other student nurses, 'I'll bet you can't let him touch you and walk away.' The others laughed and said, 'It'll be easy, he's so ugly.' All seven had the same experience and they convinced the rest not to try. Obviously, if all seven were pregnant, they had sex more than once.
    When I confronted each girl, they admitted to not only having sex more than once, but to several times each week. When I asked, 'How could you?', each girl said the same thing. They cooperated, one or more stood guard while another was with him, in the dirty linen room, the janitors closets, the clean linen closets, empty rooms, room that were being cleaned, you name it."
    "You can't be serious, I don't believe it."
    "Well, I didn't either, but when each girl told me they stopped wearing slips under their uniforms so he could easily slide his hand against a bare waist, which each one claimed put them in the seventh heaven, I decided to check for myself. If you don't believe what I've told you, you won't believe what I'm going to tell you.
    When I asked questions, I received very little response, but enough to cause me to change my questions. Then I couldn't believe the answers, until I witnessed it myself. The nurses, the aides, and the students nurses all told similar stories. If a patient didn't respond to sedatives or was hysterical, they got him to touch the patient and the patient relaxed.
    I followed him and saw it several times. Once, it was a burn patient and I could not believe what I was seeing. The patient was in extreme pain and after he touched him, even I could see the patient relax."
    There was a long pause. "OK, I'll see what I can do."
    The dean wondered if he could observe Doc, without his knowledge. The dean didn't have to wait long, it happened by chance. He was showing some dignitaries the hospital and as they entered the pediatric ward, they were greeted by the sound of a screaming child. A professor and five students were making rounds. As the professor left, he turned to the floor nurse, "Would some one give that child a sedative." He left the ward with only four students and didn't hear the nurse say, "We gave him one and he didn't respond." Suddenly, the child became still.
    The dean walked quickly to the partition and looked around it to find Doc stroking the child's bare stomach and talking to him. He walked just as quickly back to his guests, guided them into a room, and waited for Doc to leave. Doc didn't see the dean and left to join the others. The dean checked the child. Everything was normal, he couldn't find anything out of the ordinary and the child was asleep before he finished. He repeated an earlier statement to himself, "What do we have here? What are we going to do?"
    He met with the nursing dean and Doc's advisor. They thought of as many solutions as they could and discussed them, they were all wanting. The advisor said, "We must remember, he is enrolled here, but he is not the student, we are. We aren't teaching him, he is teaching us. He has read all of our publications, our procedures, he knows our methods. He is using us to perfect his own techniques and correcting our mistakes while doing it. I know he doesn't want to graduate early, he claims he is still learning. He probably is, but not from us. Our options are limited."
    They decided to have the advisor talk to Doc and the nursing dean talk to all females, both student and staff. From now on, no female was to let or encourage Doc to touch them at any time in any manner. The advisor told Doc what had transpired at the meetings. He asked Doc not to touch any staff or students. He could touch patients when following procedures.
    Doc agreed and added, "Everyone is reading to much into what has happened. I don't have any special power, I just help people relax and I can't say 'no' to a woman."
    Eve said, "I can empathize with the student nurses, in fact I can empathize with all of Doc's women. When I was withdrawing from heroin I couldn't feel Doc's power, but as the addiction lessened, the power of his touch increased. He massaged my arms and legs to help my circulation, he could have had me any time he wanted. He never tried and I never asked, until I was as recovered as I was ever going to be and I knew I was in love with him. His touch communicated, 'I know what I'm doing. I will protect anyone in my care', so completely, it was over whelming.
    During withdrawal, he told me about his problem with women. At first I was jealous, then angry, and then sorry for him. He told me, 'I never try to attract women. I don't understand why they come after me. I have analyzed my actions, but I can't find the cause.'
    After I had worked with him and knew him very well, I realized he was telling the truth. He did not take advantage of any of his women. He, just, could not say 'no'. He said, 'Men were not built to say "No" to a woman. I know I'm an extreme case, and it's probably the weakest flaw in my character. I did the only thing I could do, I tried to educate them.'
    I confronted him many times about his power and he always said, 'The other person relaxed because I touched them, it has nothing to do with me, anyone could have done it.' He would not believe me when I told him how he affected me. He dismissed what I said with, 'You're in love with me, that's why you respond the way you do.' Doc would not believe he had a special gift and by denying it, he would never abuse it."
    'The Recruiter' shook his head, "That man has had more women than anyone I have ever heard about," and Eve added, "yes and he will have more." Joe chimed in, "Have Doc tell you about the iceberg," and laughed. 'The Recruiter' said, "I'll see if he is a wake.
    After the recruiter entered Doc's room, his first words were, "Tell me about the Iceberg."
    Doc almost laughed, "You have been talking to Joe, it's a private joke. He would say, 'You could thaw an iceberg', and laugh.
    I had several cases of frigidity and they all turned out the same way, much to my dismay and Joe's amusement. I don't know what I did to change the women. I gave each one a routine physical and counseling. I can't recall doing anything different than I did with any other patient. But, here's the story."

    I was invited to speak to a women's club. Afterward a very wealthy woman said, "When you have time I would like to talk with you."
    "I have time right now."
    "I want to donate to your clinic. I admire the work you are doing for unwed mothers."
    "Thank you."
    "If you had an office in a more fashionable location, I would like you to be my doctor. I will not go to the clinic in the neighborhood. I'm very concerned about confidentially, I don't want anyone else present."
    Her offer was so generous I couldn't refuse. She was my first patient in my new office. I called her, "You can come anytime you like and I will be alone." Her first appointment was to get acquainted, I didn't examine her. She had difficulty talking about her problem. She relaxed a little when I said, "Your problem was not a common problem, but it was not uncommon either."
    She was afraid her husband would have sex with another woman if she didn't get help soon. Divorce was out of the question. Both were from wealthy families and he owned and operated a large bank. Images were important to both of them.
    He was wounded and discharged in the first year of the war. Both were in good condition and both were large people, she was six foot and he was six five, she was one eighty and he was two twenty, neither was fat. They married late, she was twenty five and he was thirty. She enjoyed their courtship. They were both virgins, both naive. She was a happy bride, everything was going according to plan. She had trouble continuing, I got up and moved toward her.
    "Please don't touch me," and cried.
    "Would you rather wait and finish your story another time?"
    "No, if I don't tell you now I will relive it all over again as I am now and I don't want to do that."
    "Lie on the couch and try to relax."
    She did and I pulled a chair next to her. I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees, my hands clasped together in front of my face. As she struggled to continue, she raised her hand in front of me. When she let it fall, I caught it and stroked her fore arm with my other hand before she could react.
    She relaxed and told her story. "I was raped on my wedding night during an aborted kidnapping attempt. We couldn't identify the men or their car. We were both so ashamed, we decided not to tell anyone, we carried on as if nothing had happened.
    All went well until I was alone one night. I thought I heard someone outside my sitting room window. The thought occurred to me, 'Those men were never caught and they might try again.' I checked outside, but I couldn't see anyone.
    I dismissed the thought, that night, but it kept coming back, even when I was with someone. I became more and more paranoid. I avoided all contact with men. I was frightened by every sound at night and I didn't go out alone. I hired a personal secretary to keep me company and to go with me at night. I could continue a normal life style without requiring special arrangements that might cause suspicion.
    Slowly I with drew from my husband. I had sex less and less, and then not even kisses or caresses. I knew I had to do something, my husband was irritable and sullen. But I couldn't tell my story to anyone, not even my minister. My maid must have sensed that something was wrong from the beginning, but it took her a long time to get the courage to approach me.
    I dropped something when I heard a strange sound and she must have seen the terror on my face. Finally, she confronted me, but I couldn't tell her my story. She told me to talk to you, you could put me at ease. She was one of your patients and recommended you, very highly.
    After I saw and heard you talk with the women at the meeting, I knew she had given me good advice." She paused, "Why would I reject my husband, it was not his fault."
    "We don't know why the brain does what it does. Obviously you and your husband carried on as if nothing happened and that prevent you from grieving your loss and without grief you cannot heal. Something DID happen and you need to come to terms with it. Every woman expects her man to protect her and yours didn't, one of your expectations was destroyed, even if it was unrealistic it is a normal expectation."
    "Yes," she said calmly, "Something did happen." The intensity of her voice increased almost to a scream. "I was raped. I was raped on my wedding night." Her whole body heaved with each sob.
    I continued to stroke her arm and she relaxed. "The physical act is not the most damaging part of rape." She stopped crying and looked at me quizzically.
    "Every person wants to choose their mate, that choice was taken from you that night and only that night and you can never get that night back. That's what hurts the most. You did get that right back."
    "I thought it was the loss of my virginity to some one other than my husband that caused the most damage."
    Now she was calm and analytical and wanted to know why.
    "I don't know, but I feel that people and society place the wrong value on virginity. From what I've been able to conclude, virginity has the value we place on it, where as the expectation of protection and the right to choose are innate values. Virginity guarantees, you will not have unwanted children and certain diseases. Learning and experiencing sex together for the first time, I feel, is the most important value of virginity. Obviously your husband was able to ignore the fact that you were not a virgin and from what you have told me, he has also respected your right to choose."
    There was a long moment of silence, she was thinking and reevaluating. She sat up with a start, threw her arms around me, squeezed me very hard, and held me for a long time. She relaxed and I returned to my desk. "Thank you."
    "You will need some time to finish the grief process, but remember you have your protection and your right to choose back. When you become paranoid, think about it and see if it helps. Also, no one can protect you all the time."
    "I'm aware of that, but that's an intellectual, not an emotional conclusion."
    "I would like to check you to make sure there are no organic problems. Would you be willing to come another time for a complete physical?"
    "I'll check my calendar and make an appointment." She did and she was in excellent physical condition.
    "Remember to be patient with yourself, it will take time to heal, you are making progress."
    "I agree, I do feel better. I have someone I can talk to, but I'm still uneasy at night."
    "Hire a security service to keep an eye on you," and of course I recommended our people.

    "I've missed something. Why did Joe use the word iceberg?"
    "She was big compared to most women, rather than being an ice cube, she was an iceberg."
    "OK, now tell me how you thawed her."
    "I don't know, but here is the rest of the story."

    She called and made another appointment. I didn't think anything about it when I saw her name on the schedule. I assumed she wanted to talk some more, that's not what she had in mind. I thought she would be in my office, she was in an exam room. When I entered, she was alone. I told her it was standard procedure to have an nurse present. "I told her to leave. Examine my abdomen, please. I think I have a lump." I slid my hand under the exam gown. "More to the left, now down, more to the right, up a little."
    "I have examined your entire abdomen and I don't feel anything, you have nothing to worry about."
    "I hired a security service, I sleep better and I feel much better."
    "I'm glad to hear that. Anything else, before I leave?"
    "No, but can I come again next week?"
    "Come as often as you like until you feel you have recovered. We can talk about anything you would like to talk about." Her next appointment was the same, except she wanted me to examine her abdomen twice before she was satisfied. "I'm sleeping with my husband and he has returned to normal." Her next appointment was the same and she said, "My sex life is very satisfying. I don't know how to thank you." Her spirits had definitely picked up. Her next appointment was very different. It started the same way and I humored her, I examined her abdomen three times.
    She caressed me and I didn't move away fast enough, she had not tied the exam gown, she threw it off, wrapped her legs and then her arms around me, and pulled me to her. In a demanding tone, "I want you, here and now, right now." Then sugar sweet, "Please."
    I was in trouble, I tried to talk, but she kissed me. I put my knees against the base of the exam table for leverage and tried to put my hands on her shoulders to push her away. She tightened her legs and pushed my hands down on to her breasts. She unbuttoned my coat and shirt all the while saying, "Please, Doc, Please."
    "Who told you the magic word." She released her legs and with a sly smile, "I'll never tell."
    I capitulated and took off my clothes. When she was satisfied, she asked me to stay and listen while she washed and dressed. I did. Before she left, "I will be back next week. Please don't fight so hard next time."
    "I think you should find another physician."
    In a sweet feminine tone, "No, you will see me again, won't you?
    Please."
    She had me, I, just can't say no to a woman, especially if they say please.
    When I left the exam room, my staff was no where to be found. I went down the hall and a nurse came out of a room and turned my direction, but as soon as she saw me she reversed directions. Another came through a doorway and she also reversed directions, but I caught a glimpse of her face, she was trying to hide a smile. I went to the reception area and I could hear them giggle. When they saw me, one covered her face with her wrist and another faked a cough. She handed me the file for the next patient, trying very hard not to smile. Now wasn't that a nice thank you, my own staff was conspiring against me.

    "That's not how Joe tells it. He says they more than conspired. How long did this continue with the iceberg?"
    "It took me three months to convince her she didn't need me and I could not keep up the liaison. She kissed me several times before she left. Two months later she made another large donation to the clinic. She still comes for her annual check up, but she doesn't ask for my services any more. I'm thankful. I still don't know what I did to turn her on. She sure was a hot potato."
    "You had similar cases?"
    "Yes, several and they all progressed the same way."
    "I heard more than several and it involved your own staff, too. Is it true?"
    "Boy, you sure do know a lot about me. If you know so much, why are you asking questions?"
    "I want to hear your side as I've said before. What about your staff?"
    "They took turns at each office. They even had a calendar, I discovered it by accident one day."
    "You have to be kidding? How many women did you have each day?"
    "Three or four, some times five."
    "What capacity. How could you keep it up?"
    "I couldn't, literally. Some days the only way I could get the women to leave me a lone was to tell them, 'I don't have anything left.' They would feel me and say, 'Not today, huh?'
    I don't understand why I have this problem. I don't go after them, they come after me. I've reviewed everything I did when I examined them the first time and I don't know what promotes their amorous feelings toward me."
    "I know many men who would like to have your problem."
    "That's what they think. It's a nice thought, but that is all it is, a nice thought. It's a reflection of a man's biological role. It's only a small part of life."
    "When did your problem start?"
    "I tried to determine that, too. To the best of my recollection it began after I assisted with my first delivery."
    "Do you mean the woman in the cab? How did she find you?"
    "She told the cabby, 'I need help'.
    When I came to her apartment she met me at the door in her bathrobe. Her husband was at work and the kids were asleep in the bedroom. She went to her bed at the end of the living room, 'It's easier to examine me on the bed'. She removed her robe and lie naked on the bed. She lead me through the same routine as the iceberg. I was younger then and she didn't have to do much to have me."
    "How did you get them to stop?"
    "I tried to educate them about sex. I pointed out, 'You tell or ask me to do what you want, why not tell or ask your husband to do what you want.'
    'I can't tell him anything.'
    'Then move his hands to where you would like them or at least move them away from where you don't want them. If you are not ready, stall him, ask him to hold you. The male ego has great difficulty with rejection, so avoid, "NO," or any other negative word. If you have to say "No,' make sure he understands you are not rejecting him, just his actions. A woman doesn't like to be rejected any more than a man, but a woman seems to be able to handle rejection much much better than a man.'
    I tried to explain that men do not know what a woman wants, even if they think they do. A woman's sensitivity changes so often and so fast a man can't keep up, a woman has to guide them in some manner. If a woman doesn't learn how to guide her man, she is doomed to a life of dissatisfaction.
    I suggested phrases they could use and showed them how to move their bodies. Most knew how to do it, they were, just, not making the effort. The common excuse was, 'I'm to tired.'
    'You weren't to tired to do it with me.'
    Slowly they changed. They agreed, their men didn't know as much as they thought and when they put some effort into it, they could change their husband's actions or at least guide them.
    'Remember, the male ego makes it difficult for a man to accept the fact that he is a poor lover. Don't tell him that, take the time to teach him subtly, after all it's for your own benefit. You should be willing to make the effort otherwise you only have yourself to blame'."
    "You won't admit that your touch had anything to do with it? Only the women you touched responded that way."
    "Not all the women responded that way, only a small fraction. I can't believe my touch had anything to do with it."
    "Maybe only the aggressive women responded, the others were passive, but if you had tried they would have let you."
    "That's another point I tried to make when they complained that their men were always bugging them. A women's natural response to a man is passive. The only way a man can know what to do next is to try until you stop him. So indicate what you would like. Sex is not a dirty topic, you can talk to your husband about it. You can ask him to do what you would like. More often than not he will do what you want because he wants sex from you. For all his bravado, he wants you, not another woman.
    Remember, he will be ready the minute you remove your hat. You will not respond that fast, so slow him down, until you are ready. Try to think about love making with your husband beforehand and do not tell him until the time is right, otherwise he will get excited to soon and you will have a little more time to get ready while he is becoming aroused. Contrary to what men think, they need time, too. They, just, don't need the same amount as a woman.
    Pay more attention to what he does and be careful to distinguish between what his ego is saying and what he is saying. You may have to live with a man who has a male ego, but he has to live with it all the time. The poor bastard doesn't even know what he is fighting against.
    Be patient with him, he is fighting a losing battle. He will not be aware of why he does things, many of which will be stupid. You will be bewildered, because you and he, think he is rational. He will be mad if you do and he will be mad if you don't. He will be, just plain frustrated because he cannot win the battle with his ego or with his unrelenting sex drive, thank God, it cools off as men get older. He will refuse to admit he is behaving instinctively. He tends to think when he wants sex it was a rational decision, when you want sex, you were following your instincts.
    The other side of the coin, when he wants sex, you will have a tendency to think of him as a dirty old man and when you want sex, you will think you are, just, satisfying your needs. So, be careful, don't be judgmental.
    Along this same line, men do not need as much sex as they think and women need more sex than they think. The problem is, men and women do not communicate well and if either makes a mistake the result is embarrassment and neither wants that, so this further inhibits the communication process."
    Doc blamed our heritage for most of the problem. He was thoroughly convinced that prior to its influence, women did tell or at least guided their men and mothers taught their daughters how to subtly communicate with their men. "What a bunch of rubbish, the idea that nice girls should not talk about sex, want sex, or enjoy sex, they were supposed to lay there and not react during sex. I know most of them did and then had guilt feelings because they were behaving naturally or because they were denying natural responses. Either way they were losers."
    Then he went into a tirade about our heritage, the shear stupidity of it. His face turned beet red and his blood pressure rose. The recruiter did what he could to calm him down. When his color returned to normal, the recruiter continued, "You still will not admit that your touch had anything to do with your problem?"
    "Come on, I don't have any power." The recruiter walked away shaking his head.
 

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    The next time Doc awoke, a doctor was standing beside the bed. He said, "I have some bad news for you, you are not progressing as well as we had hoped. We are going to move you to another division of the hospital, to give you special treatment."
    "What about my friend Joe?"
    "Your friend is not doing well at all, I'm afraid we can't move him at this time."
    Two orderlies walked in to move the bed. When they reached the hall, the recruiter walked up, "Where do you think you are going, to the city for the hospital bed races?" An orderly gave him the new room number and told Doc, "You'll be there in a few minutes." The trip took ten minutes, down the hall, down the elevator to the basement, down a long hall, up another elevator, down a hall, and finally into to his new room.
    It was a private room, other than that, it was, just another hospital room. Doc did not feel very well when the bed stopped moving. A nurse asked, "Do you want something for pain?" When Doc responded, "Yes," she smiled.
    She returned in a few minutes with a syringe and smiled as she gave him the injection. When she finished the smile disappeared. Doc thought, "That's an odd reaction," a fleeting thought, because instead of decreasing, the pain increased. Almost to much when it began to subside. When the recruiter arrived, Doc felt pretty good.
    "Eve is with Joe, I'm afraid we're going to lose him, but enough depressing talk, I would really like to know why you didn't graduate from medical school. I heard it was because of an abortion."
    "Just look at what happened to me because parents do not ask the proper questions of their children; therefore their children do not ask the proper questions, they jump to conclusions, they assume they are at fault. A parent should ask, 'What happened?', instead of 'What did you do?'"
    "What does that have to do with an abortion?"
    "Well, nothing to do with abortion, but everything with what happened after an abortion. Let me tell you a fairly long story.

    Several weeks before graduation, Joe came to me with a very special plea. He wanted me to perform an abortion on a friend's girl friend, the circumstances were very unusual. His friend was deeply in love with the daughter of a very important man. His friend was poor, from the wrong side of the tracks, and from the wrong religion. The girl's father forebade her to see him, if she did, he would disinherit her and disown her. That did not stop them, it only made their romance more desperate and passionate.
    To guarantee, they did not see each other, her father demanded, she accompany her parents on a Caribbean tour. They were sailing the week after school was out. She was in the third month as best she could tell and she was hysterical about it. She was sure her mother would know before long and her father would before the tour was over. She was in a desperate emotional state. Joe was holding something back, but he would not tell me anything more.
    Reluctantly, I agreed, after he said, 'Do it for me, Doc. Do it for me." I told him my schedule, he chose the next night and made the arrangements. 'I'll pick you up at eight.' The next night he took me to a second story old office in the older section of the business district. The room was dark except for a single bright light over the end of long table. The light shade focused the light on the end of the table.
    When we entered the room I could barely see two people huddling on a couch in the corner. As my eyes became adjusted to the dark, I saw a young couple dressed in old clothes. I didn't recognize the man. She wore a scarf over her head, covering her forehead as well as her hair, and dark glasses, obviously, so I would not know who she was. Tears were streaming down her face.
    'You want this baby, don't you?'
    'Yes', she said very weakly, I could barely hear her.
    'Then why are we doing this?'
    'I can't, I can't,' she screamed and sobbed out of control.
    'OK. OK.'
    After she recovered a little, she stood and removed her skirt and underwear. Her boyfriend and Joe lift her on to the end of the table. She was very embarrassed and very afraid. 'Do you want to know what I'm going to do?'
    'No,' she screamed and then more calmly, 'PLEASE, do it quickly.'
    Her boyfriend put pillows under her head and shoulders. He stayed by her head, holding her hands and kissing her. Joe put a stand under her feet off to one side and took one leg and move away to spread her legs. He held her leg to make her as comfortable as possible. I moved between her legs and before I began I subconsciously slid my hand over her abdomen. She shivered and became very calm.
    When I finished, I gave her very strict instructions on what she could and could not do. Her boy friend said, 'I'll stay with her as long as I can.' If the hemorrhaging increased or if it didn't stop within a specified time they were to call me, at any time, day or night. Joe said, 'We won't call, I'll come and get you. I'm going to stay with them tonight, but she has to go home tomorrow night. Nothing is going to go wrong, you do such good work, Doc.' She said the same thing very confidently and added, 'You were highly recommended.' Nothing did go wrong and I never heard from them again.
    Can you imagine my surprise when my advisor called me into his office the day before graduation and told me, I would not graduate. He was very agitated, he didn't want to tell me why, but he had to. 'She was the daughter of the dean, how could you?'
    'What are you talking about? I know the dean's daughter died as the result of a horseback riding accident. Everyone at the university knew, the whole campus was in a pall, but what did that have to do with me?'
    'You have been accused of performing an abortion on her.' I didn't say anything or show any emotion, he continued. 'If it wasn't for her stupid boyfriend we wouldn't be in this situation. When we did the autopsy, we didn't find anything we didn't expect. It was a clear case of death by concussion. The blow was so severe there was no doubt. We checked everything that might suggest she may have passed out before she fell. Everything was normal.
    Everyone said she was OK, no one noticed that she was anything but normal. According to the other riders she was feeling fine and riding as well as ever. She and another rider were racing and when they jumped a low fence, her horse stepped into a grass covered hole. When the horse fell the motion catapult her into the air. She landed on a rock almost completely covered by dirt. Six inches in any direction and all she would have had was a stiff neck and a headache.
    Proceeding the funeral her family received relatives and friends at their church. Her boyfriend was not allowed in their home, but he felt less inhibited about approaching them in their church. He was in an awful emotional state. As he approached the dean, he kept saying, "It's all my fault, it's all my fault." The dean asked, "How could it be your fault?"
    "She would not have bled to death if I had not agreed to let her have an abortion."
    "What are you talking about, she died from a concussion."
    The blood drained from the boyfriends face as he realized his mistake, but it was too late. The dean nearly passed out, not only had he lost his daughter, he had lost a grandchild as well. He cursed his own bullheadedness.
    When he regained his composure he had to know for certain. He took me by the arm and led me to a private room. It took me the better part of an hour to convince him that we had not over looked anything and that everything was normal. We didn't find any sign of an abortion. I tried to explain what he already knew, to much time had passed between the accident and the supposed abortion.
    I will say one thing, if you did perform an abortion, you did very good work, she healed quickly.
    However; you finally did it, you uncovered an idiot's mouth. I know many people have covered for you, including myself, when you did not follow the rules. But, no one can cover an idiot's mouth once it has been uncovered. I don't understand it myself, but people will believe an idiot even when educated and trained professionals can not support the idiot's statements. An accusation has more life than reality. By supposedly violating our code of ethics the dean will not allow you to graduate.
    Sorry, I tried, but I cannot do anything more for you. You had a brilliant career ahead of you, what a sad ending.' He sat and stared at me until I decided to get up and leave."
    "What did Joe do to his friend?"
    "Nothing, Joe knew the whole story before I had a chance to tell him. Joe couldn't go with him to the funeral, but he made arrangements to meet him at his apartment after supper. No one answered when he knocked, Joe walked in and found him slumped over his desk, a pistol in his hand. His note was long and incoherent, but its meaning was evident. He had bungled everything and was so guilt ridden he could not face anyone."
    "What a tragic story, I'll see you tomorrow."
    Within minutes, a nurse came and asked, "Something for pain?" When Doc said, "No," her smile turned to a frown. Again, Doc thought, "Her reaction was odd," but he looked at the ceiling and fell asleep.
    When the recruiter came the next day, Doc was in a good mood. He was out of traction and would receive a walking cast soon. "I'm glad to see you feeling well. But, your story as tragic as it was raised some important questions for me. The daughter's statement that you were highly recommended implies you had performed many abortions before that time. Is that true? If it is true, how many, when did you start and why? I know you said you would not join our organization and I said I would not give you a sales pitch, but I still want you to join. You would be a tremendous asset to our organization, but this question of abortion is serious. I would like to know the whole truth. I guarantee everything you say will be in strict confidence."
    "I guess it doesn't matter," Doc paused and then answer without further hesitation. "Yes, I have performed many abortions, so many I can not remember how many. The first was shortly after I began living alternate days with the girls. I was not their doctor then, but I became their doctor after one of the girls had an abortion.
    She was in bad condition, she almost didn't make it back to the apartment, she passed out several times. She would not get professional help. When she passed out again, I told the others I would take care of her if they would help. They were easily persuaded.
    I had never seen the result of an abortion. Who ever performed it, not only didn't know what they were doing, the result of their work indicated they didn't care, money was their only interest.
    I did what I could and nature did the rest. Slowly, she recovered. During her recovery, I talked with the girls. It was obvious to me that they would not change their profession and they would not carry a pregnancy to term. Every time, I said, 'You are going against your very nature,' they replied, 'Would you raise a child in our environment?'
    I had no rebuttal. From my point of view, I had little choice. I didn't want them to be hacked up by a back alley abortionist again. Birth control was very primitive and abortion was the highest taboo in the medical profession, I had difficulty finding constructive literature. I taught them what little I had learned about birth control. I knew their customers would not cooperate, the girls had to do it on their own.
    When the next girl wanted an abortion, she agreed to let me do it, I certainly could do no worse than a back alley abortionist. I perfected my technique during those years. The girls were very satisfied with my work.
    When I would not accept pay they insisted I take it out in trade. When I refused they ganged up on me and worked me over. You would not believe what they did, they had no compunction at all. Then one of them said, 'Please'.
    I had to have sex with at least one of them every time I came to the apartment, they demanded it."
    "Are you sure it wasn't your touch?"
    "Why do you ask that question again? My touch had nothing to do with it."
    "Return to your story."
    "I was not attracted to any of them, but being a young man, I was more than willing to oblige. They hugged and kissed me, they pat and pet me, they fondled me and unbutton my clothes, until I got mad and told them I had to sleep.
    They wanted me to touch them and I didn't realize until much later that I wanted to touch them, too. A bond had formed, I cared about them, they were my girls. I wanted to protect and take care of them. I know it sounds maudlin, but it was true. It was not a strong force, but it was unrelenting, it was always present. I wanted to know about them, what they were doing, what was important to them. I tried to help them, to improve their condition. Looking back, I know now, they must have recognized my concern right away. I was unsuccessful at trying to get the girls to change their line of work or their life style. I was successful in changing their conditions.
    Only after Joe and I changed their mode of operation, did they change. Once they had a better self image, I could persuade them to get more education, it was a slow process. It was easier to persuade them to change as they grew older. Once they had sufficient education, they did change occupations.
    This is not only true of the girls, it's true of everyone. Some how people get the idea that they are not 'Living' unless they drive a big car, live in a big house and can spend their life in idleness, sipping drinks beside a pool.
    It's very difficult to change this self-portrait of success. People need to work. It does not matter what kind of work, just so they can tolerate it. If you can enjoy your work so much the better. People can not live a life of idleness, they will end up in straight jackets or worse.
    When people cannot reach their self-portrait of success, many seek some form of escape, losing their self-respect directly or they become pawns of the unscrupulous and lose their self-respect indirectly. Once self-respect is lost, they are almost intractable.
    I found, by changing the girls attitude toward themselves, I had a chance to make additional changes. Education was next, then life styles, and then occupation. It was extremely slow, but it worked and we made money in the process.
    I don't know why it took me so long before I tried the same approach on alcoholics and addicts. This approach didn't work on all of them, only on the ones where their self image was the key to changing their self portrait of success."
    "But, were you not breaking the law by continuing their, 'occupation,' as you call it."
    "No. Laws are not made to be broken as some stupid people say, laws are guide lines, so we followed the guide lines. We knew that if we didn't keep control of them, they would be right back where they were. We had to change something, so we changed their mode of operation and kept control of them. Joe set up an escort service. The girls never carried money and didn't accept money from their clients. They didn't discuss sex or make offers of sex to their clients."
    "Now who are you trying to kid?"
    "No one. You claim to know a lot about me, well how many of our girls were ever picked up by the vice squad?"
    "I have to admit, very few and they were released very quickly."
    "Because they behaved like ladies and they did not disobey the law. If they happened to have sex with their clients, it was unplanned and spontaneous, and it was not part of the original agreement between Joe and the clients."
    "So, you were on the slippery slope, huh? If you didn't do it, some one less qualified would, is that the case?"
    "Well, I suppose so, I just couldn't risk having one of them die, needlessly and I wanted to improve their lot."
    "So you took another's life."
    "The way I look at it, being an unwanted child is worse than death.
    Are you aware that less than one third of all unwanted children ever come close to being well adjusted, most are basket cases. I figured the odds were in my favor. Look at my life, the only reason I survived, was the innate tenacity for life and a very strong self confidence. I was fortunate, I learned that it was not my fault and I could change things, most children never learn those two very important points.
    Do you know how many times I wished I was dead. When my parents died, I could not grieve."
    "Do you know what happened to your father?"
    "No. I never found out and no one in our organization ever did either. He probably killed himself. He was still very much in love with her even though he mistreated her badly. That's another thing I could never understand. I knew even as a small child that my parents were deeply in love, why didn't either one pay any attention to the children that came out of that love? The only time they paid attention to any of us was if they could gain some material benefit from it. I just don't understand."
    "That's enough for now. I'll see if anyone in our organization knows what happened to your father." Doc fell asleep before the recruiter left the room. He awoke to the smell of wet plaster, they were ready to put a walking cast on his leg. When they were done he could look forward to moving about in a wheel chair, his condition was to unstable for crutches.
    Doc had plenty of time to think. What else could he do and he couldn't think very well. He thought, "It's odd, the only time I'm lucid is when the recruiter is present. Every time anyone else is present, I'm incoherent or fall asleep. I do the same with the recruiter, but at least most of the time I can carry on a some what normal conversation.
    Maybe the pain killer has something to do with it." He asked the staff, 'What are you doing, what are you using?", but they would not tell him anything.
    When they were done with the cast Doc fell asleep. When the recruiter came, "Would you like to go to the court yard."
    "Let's go." On the way out, "Tell me why your organization acquired the mansion, especially when you and most of your people are so frugal. Did it have anything to do with Middy?"
    "It had everything to do with Middy. Eve suggested the mansion as a solution to my problem with Middy. I tried to get even with Middy for what she had done to Eve and for embarrassing me many times over the years, but she won. I have to concede defeat, she followed a superior philosophy, 'The best revenge is to lead a happy life'. I followed, 'Don't get mad, get even. But she won with Eve's help, two against one, that's not fair, especially two women against one man, the weaker sex never had a chance."
    "Then, you have forgiven Middy?"
    "Yes, but don't tell her that, because I never will."
    Doc was silent until the recruiter prompted him. "Come on tell me the rest of the story."
    "About a year after Eve kicked the heroin habit, she called Middy. Eve had recovered about as much as she ever would and she felt, she was strong enough to meet Middy. She did it without my knowledge, she told me she was going on a short vacation. I didn't think anything about it and I told her to enjoy herself.
    Middy arranged to meet Eve at her parent's summer home, it was a very emotional meeting. The two women embraced and cried for hours, before they brought each other up to date. They sat on two small facing couches. Eve asked Middy to tell her first, then she told her story to Middy. While she was telling her story, Middy looked very closely at Eve. She could see the shadow of death behind what little make up Eve was wearing.
    Halfway through the story the full impact of what she had done hit Middy. She began to cry and the intensity increased as Eve continued. When Eve finished, Middy was wailing on the verge of hysteria.
    Eve went to Middy, sat next to her, and let Middy sob on her shoulder. When she calmed, "I forgave you long ago," and Middy started all over again.
    For an hour Eve couldn't understand a thing Middy said. Middy put her hands on Eve's shoulders and held her at arms length. She looked straight into Eve's eyes and asked, 'How can you forgive me after what I have done?', she cursed herself. 'It was not easy, I had to forgive myself first for being so stupid.
    Doc tried to teach me how to get my self respect back, among other things, and I came to the conclusion that I had to forgive you in order to forgive myself. Doc did not agree, he was vehement, he said I should get even and he would if he ever got the chance. I could not convenience him, he was contradicting his own logic. He would not admit he was making an error to reach his conclusion.
    Stay away from Doc. What ever you do, don't even come close to him on the street.'
    They spent the rest of the time renewing their relationship and reminiscing. They met for coffee or lunch once a month after their reunion."
    "How did you make contact with Middy?"
    "I didn't, she made contact with me. Meeting with Eve didn't help Middy. She went from melancholy, to morose, to depression. She went to many doctors, had many treatments, nothing worked. She heard about the AB treatment. She decided she would kill two birds with one stone. She knew she had to confront me before she could heal and maybe the AB treatment would help. She made an appointment under an assumed name at my office in the high rent district. She told the nurse, 'All I want is a consultation on the AB treatment.'
    She arrived late for her appointment. The receptionist asked her to wait in my office and I would be with her shortly. When I walked into my office she was standing in a corner facing the wall. This was common I didn't think anything of it. I sat at my desk and she asked questions. I told her the danger and the strict requirements of the AB treatment and I advised against it.
    She said, 'I've tried many things and nothing worked, I'm willing to take the risk.' Her perfume drifted to me and I recognized it, but before I could confirm who she was, she turned. She had been tactful now she was sarcastic. 'OK doctor quack, quack, give me the treatment.'
    I'm quite sure she didn't understand my pleasure at that moment. Immediately, I got up and made the arrangements. I didn't return to my office and didn't see her again until a month later. The treatment was working, I could not let that happen. I convinced her that she was in my power and I did everything I could to disgrace her, to ruin her self image. I wanted to get even, I wanted revenge for what she had done to Eve, for what she had done to me. I wanted to destroy her, slowly.
    I failed miserably, I don't know where I went wrong. She became the happiest person I ever knew. Eve would not let me kill her, but I had to do something, the very thought of her made my blood boil.
    Eve suggested we build a retreat and keep her prisoner there. She would be out of sight and out of mind, but still under my control. I didn't like the idea, it didn't satisfy my need for revenge, but it would do until I could think of a different approach.
    The more Eve though about the idea the more she liked it. She talked to the acquisition committee and so did they. Unknown to me, they even put Middy in charge of the project. Between Eve and the committee, they had Middy out of the city the next day and I didn't see her again until the grand opening. They formed a conspiracy against me, every time I mentioned Middy someone distracted me, until I almost forgot her. Between them, almost everything I did to Middy, was not only undone, they went to the opposite extreme, they turned her into a very successful and contented person.
    The mansion was in operation for several months before the grand opening, they wanted it running smoothly before they brought it to my attention. I spent a very enjoyable weekend at the mansion and Middy's parting shot, as I was getting into the big car to return to the city, was, 'You still cannot forgive me, huh, doctor quack, quack?'
    All I could do was shake my head, I could not argue with success. I could only compliment Eve and the committee on another profitable enterprise. And that is how we acquired the mansion."
    "I have a feeling you didn't tell the whole story but that's enough for now."
    Doc didn't have any visitors for a couple of days. Then the recruiter came frequently, before lunch, after lunch, and after dinner.
    "I get so caught up in your story I forget what I want to ask you next, you don't mind if I ask a question I intended to ask after the story about the Iceberg?"
    "You can ask anything you like, at any time. I'm not going anywhere and I have a lot of time, ask what ever you like. You know so much about me it doesn't matter what you ask."
    "You had so much sex out of wedlock, how do you reconcile it with your personal philosophy?"
    "I can't.
    I consider it a problem I have to deal with and some how solve and if I can't I will rely on my faith that I will be forgiven."
    "With all the sex you had, surely there were children, what happened to them? Is that why you established the clinic to take care of your pregnant women and their abortions?"
    "The reason for the clinic is obvious. It provided a clean, sterile, and permanent environment in which to work, I didn't have to carry everything with me and I could have the best equipment available. At first, all abortions were performed on the girls. Later, on women they referred to me. We never encourage abortion, we provided counseling, we encouraged women to have their babies. We even provide free services. If they didn't want the baby, we arranged adoptions. Most abortions arose because the women didn't want the baby and knew they wouldn't give it up if they gave birth. Abortion was the last option.
    To my knowledge, none of the girls were impregnated by me. None of my women wanted to marry me, except Eve, and all carried their pregnancies to term. When I knew I was the father I insisted they use the clinic, but most came of their own free will. No, the vast majority of the unwed mothers were not mine.
    The clinic provided a haven during the war as you know for the girl friends of service men who didn't want anyone to know. I didn't establish the clinic for my benefit."
    "What about your children?"
    "Most of the women were married and I had know way of knowing if I was the father. All my children remained with their mothers. One service of the clinic is to help anyone find employment, it is part of our philosophy of keeping the neighborhood healthy. I provided for all my women, our organization employed many of them."
    "Even the student nurses?"
    "Yes. Our organization located as many as possible. We even helped them meet potential husbands, another service of the clinic, one we didn't advertise. Any unmarried person received that service whether they asked for it or not. We subtly, got them together. Married people are healthier and live longer, especially men. Again, it goes back to our philosophy of keeping the neighborhood healthy."
    "You've had more contact with women than any man I have ever known, coupled with your service as an inductee medical examiner, did those two factors influence your opinions about men and women?"
    "That's an understatement, it is one basis for my opinions and conclusions about men and women. You would not believe the level of stupidity in the inductees. I have met many stupid women, but not even close to the number and level of the inductees and they thought to man that they were smarter than women. These opinions were reinforced by my reading, training and other experiences."
    "Did they also have an influence on your opinions of Freud."
    "No, they only reinforced my earlier conclusions. By the time I read Freud, he contradicted everything I had learned and experienced. I couldn't understand why he was accepted so readily, without any checking. If anyone had even questioned his conclusions, so many never would have been misled for so long.
    It wasn't Freud's fault, the sender is responsible for making sure the message is received without error, but the receiver is responsible for making sure the message is true. As receivers, we are just too damned lazy. Everyone wants to be spoon fed."
    "I'll see you later, I have something I have to do."
    Eve came in a few minutes later and Doc fell asleep.
 

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